Hello Everyone:<BR>Been away awhile, I've had some medical problems and have been in and out of the hospital the last week. Now I'm home till Wednesday and then I have to return to work. My first trip to the hospital I went alone and my H didn't seem to care. Then when I went back to the hospital on Saturday he actually got off work early to come down. He wastn't very socialble but he was fairly companionable. We made small talk which is more than we've done in the past. and he didn't nit pick or anything almost all weekend. So that was good.<P>I know my H has two different e-mails on line. I know his e-mail addresses to send him stuff but not to access them myself (I decided I didn't want to try to access it because it would be undermining all I'm trying to do) so I'm doing something different but I'm still not sure if I should.<BR>I signed up for my own E-mail account through Yahoo under an assumed name and contacted him telling him a friend of his gave me his name and E-mail. He's got so many E-mail girlfriends he probably won't ever figure out who it could have been. Well... anyway I figure since he won't talk to me maybe he will talk to my alias. Do you think this is o.k. or like a major LB. I just want him to communicate with me, even if he doesn't know it's me. Maybe I can find out what I do that bugs him so much and pushes him away (as he puts it)<P>------------------<BR>Irene

Sorry to hear about your medical problems. I hope you are doing well.<P>Well, the question of whether it is right or wrong to send an e-mail under an assumed name. I guess it could be considered wrong, but so is having an affair. Sorry to sound so negative, but that is just how I feel. I have been pondering over the same question about sending an e-mail under another name. I went as far as opening an e-mail account with OW name, was going to send an e-mail to my husbands account to see if he would reply or would tell me that she contacted him, just as kind of a test. I didn't do it because then I would have to deal with, "what if he didn't tell me and what would he reply if he did?" My point is, right or wrong, you will have to deal with however he addresses this e-mail, such as what he says or how he acts. It may be more than you can handle, because if he does reply to you under your alias e-mail and does not tell you about it, then it will in turn hurt you probably more than help, because although it is you actually sending the e-mail, he won't know that. What if he says something negative when referring to his wife? I think it probably wouldn't be a good idea, for the sake of your feelings, not his. If you do decide to send it, just be sure you will be able to handle however he responds.I hope this made sense. Good luck to you.<P>------------------<BR>daisy

Hello Ladies,<P>I just wanted to let you girls know that I've done what you are thinking of doing. I've gone and had a conversation with my H under a different alias. I must tell you that what I discovered was not at all what I intended to find out. I started off by making small talk and asking questions and soon discovered that my H was very easily influenced by Cybers**. He enjoyed giving pleasure to OW on the net. Oh boy...when you see those words pop up in the screen it's like your talking to a completely different person. I was very angry and hurt by my discovery and till' this day cannot figure out what I did so wrong for him to turn to OW. Well, I'm rambling on... <BR>In any case, I did feel very guilty for doing it and just because they are doing something devious, it doesn't mean you have to. There is a possibility that you will be more hurt by your discoveries more than anything. It does stay in your thoughts and makes it harder to identify your true feelings about the situation. I have a lot to say on this subject, so if you have any questions, Ask away... I hope all goes well, and I will be around to see how you're progressing.<P>BJ

2Bornot2B,<P>I must say, you got my curiousity going. I do have a question. After you sent the e-mails, did you tell him what you did? That is one of my fears. If I did e-mail him pretending to be OW, and he chose to tell me about it and then what would I say? Then again, if he didn't chose to tell me and replied to the e-mail, thinking it was her, (depending on what it said), I would probably just give up on this reconciliation business and call it quits. So, although I still consider doing it, I think it would be more harmful than anything, as you said. Thanks for the tip and my ears are open for any more insightful info on this subject!!!<BR><P>------------------<BR>daisy

First of all I didn't pretent to be other the other woman I told him a friend gave me his e-mail and said we were going through similar problems. We made small talk, found out yes, he is interested in somebody (like I didn't already know) but that he felt that they were growing apart and is thinking it won't work out (yehaw!!!)<BR>I believe it won't work our and that they are growing apart because God is working in his heart weather or not he wants to admit it.<BR>I have keept our chats very light and last week told him I wouldn't be able to talk to him about his problems as per advise of my therapist. but that if he needed a friend I would check my e-mail from time to time. Haven't heard from him since the 9th. As far as my E-mail goes.<P>------------------<BR>Irene