Does the phone counsling really work? We have spoken with a couple of people, some were from a church (2 different) and 1 wasn't. They all pretty much said the same thing, that he needed to put this behind him and get on with things since it happened 4 years ago. The bible says to forgive. I know that it isn't that easy. The biggest thing with me is the hurtful things that my H says to me. Even his mother says that he needs to look at what he has and go on with life. I really don't have the monsy to spend, but if you really think that Dr. Harley could help, I think at this time it might be well worth it.

MUDD,<P>I hate to be the only one answering your posts...<BR>...but weekends are notoriously s l o w...<P>Check out my link... <A HREF="http://pages.ivillage.com/re/mb_nsr/MB_NPT.html" TARGET=_blank>Notable Posts/Threads</A>...<BR>And look fof the section called "<B>Counseling:</B>"...<BR>I know it's a lot of money...<BR>...I'm still unemployed right now myself.<BR>...but it can really help when everything else you've done leads to nothing more than stagnation.<P>I see you are of some "faith"...<BR>...also check out...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000288.html" TARGET=_blank>MB Concepts in Christian Scripture</A>... <P> <P>Jim

MUDD:<P>I just recently started Phone counseling and after many attempts to get help from elders at church and a couple of other places. This is the only counseling/advice that I have gotten that makes ME feel better about what I am doing. It is the only thing that has given me hope and it has also given me a plan of action that will make my life better no matter what. I would recommend it to anyone!<P>Kristin

MUDD,<P>It's nice that you and mom have decided your H has had enough time to get over it. After all, his continued hurting just makes you feel guilty so I can see why you decided this for him. Yup, make perfect sense, as long as you don't look to closely at HIS feelings and HIS needs.<P>Look I'm not trying to cause hurt feelings, you've done a great job all by yourself. All I'm trying to tell you that while YOU want him to be over it, he isn't for whatever reason.<P>The level of betrayal he has suffered at your hands may well be something he never gets totally over. He may forgive, but I promice you he will never forget. If that's what your waiting on you can stop, it's not going to happen.<P>Think back to the worst thing anyone has ever done to you. Now multiply it about a hundred times. Do you ever think your going to forget about it? No, you know you won't.<P>I know you want to "get on with life" as if none of this ever happened, or at least pretend it didn't happen. But what YOU need to do is be thankful this man loves you enough to have stayed with you.<P>Yeah, maybe he is having a tough time of it but I can tell you there are lots of folks that have had it much worse. Heck, prisons are full of people that killed their spouse for what you have done.<P>Your suggesting to your H that he seek counceling is kinda like Charles Mason recommending an Anger Management Class. The message is poluted by the messenger.<P>Yes, I'm sure your life is hard right now, but who's fault is that? Like they say, suck it up and deal!