I am amazed at the number of people complaining about their spouses having Internet Affairs. What I am truely suprised at is that no one seems to understand that you can pull the plug on the computer, or at least the modem!<P>Are you so afraid of the reaction your afraid to take away the tools being used to destroy your marriage? WHY???<P>And to the arguement that he/she "needs" the internet, horse hockey! We all lived without it for years and we don't "need" it now. Learn the differance between I "need" something and I "want" something.<BR>

Country Guy,<P>When I discovered my H's internet affair - I demanded the computer be disconnected and put in a closet. His reply was that that was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard and if I were going to act so stupid he might as well just leave. Or words to that effect anyway.<P>My point is that he was SO emotionally attached to the OW, that he would rather have left me and his two children to continue the online affair than to just unplug the computer and put it in the closet. <P>Staying together gave me the chance to Plan A my heart out (most of the time; with occasional lapses and LBs) and draw him closer to myself as he gradually withdrew from OW.<P>So, at least in my case, the answer wasn't as black and white as just getting rid of the computer, which would have been fine with me! Hope this gives you another perspective.<P>periwinkle

I think it is naive to think that simply unplugging the computer would solve the problem. Yes - it was the tool for my husband, but the problems between us existed for years. Tossing the computer wouldn't solve anything.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Alberta:<BR><B>I think it is naive to think that simply unplugging the computer would solve the problem. Yes - it was the tool for my husband, but the problems between us existed for years. Tossing the computer wouldn't solve anything.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hmmm.... I agree that it won't solve the "real" problem. But I look at it like a drunk driver. Taking away the car won't solve the drinking but it sure limits the chances of self injury. (Or hurting others.)<P>I just have a very hard time understanding anyone allowing this to go on in their own home.

What I find unbelievable is that there are people out there who fall for someone sight unseen (like my W). She works around men all the time and says "you're all alike". Then I find her shacked up with the OM twice in two months. A guy she met on the Internet, a guy with a wife who knows she has children, a guy that was asking me for business advice two weeks before he and my wife started this IA. This man is nothing more than a predator who seeks women with marital woes, finds the source and then begins to meet their ENs. He is a grown-up molester who never intends to marry his victims, merely get his way with them. Then he leaves the pieces of a shattered marriage behind for guys like me to try and salvage. I feel some much rage towards this individual that he's fortunate I live 7 hours away.

Gill,<P>It probably wouldn't do for you to see or confront this a**hole. However if your looking for volunteers I'll raise my hand.<P>Yes I'm serious. Personally, I believe if more of these folks were confronted with the damage they cause they would change their ways. If that isn't enough then the damage I would cause them would!