My husband cheated on me. It hurts so bad, when you both say that you would never do this to one another, and that if it should happen you would tell it. My husband worked in a envirnoment of women, which I really didn't care for. But, he told me I had no need to worry about anything, because he had the person he wanted(ME). I actually hate the fact of how I found this out. I got his e-mail password and found an e-card that he sent to this woman(I don't really think she's a woman-but a homewrecker.) and I made a copy of everything I could, I didn't tell him anything about, it really hurt me to find this and read it, I cried and thought about what he said and then I got so angry, that I could no longer hold it all inside. It started as he was taking me to work and he flash his headlights at her, and I said, No you didn't just flash your lights at her. He lied and told me "NO" I then reached over to see if I heard that sound and yes it was, oh then he got mad with me and begin to accuse me of meeting people here and there(GUILT). I was so angry that I couldn't concentrate on my work but, with God's help manage to get it done. The next day, is when I found the letter and card he send to her, this happen about the 1st of this month and on the 17th he decided that he couldn't keep it from me any longer. this special friendship, as he called it was going on for a year and two months. After the 1st, I couldn't eat or sleep, it hurt me so bad, I was so confused, and curious as to "WHY"? I want so much to forgive him my hubby and through Christ I know i can but, I don't know about trusting him anymore or not just yet. We have three beautiful children who loves us both and will not stand for us to be mad at each other for nothing. So, I do want him, not just for the kids, but for myself I feel as though God gave him to me for me , and what he did was the most hurtful thing he could ever do. and I just don't want to give up on our 21 years together. He wants me to forgive him and he says, he realizes that it will take some time for me to do just that, and he promise he would never even think about this or the person or anything that will hurt me. He also said, they only had sex once, and he didn't caress or anything like that, it was quick and after he told her that he will never do this again, but, he went to her house on two other occasion, which in turn says someone was there both times. I ask why did you go back if you were so sorry and he told me he was caught in this game he was playing? He don't want me to question her about any of it, because he feels that I will explode on her, but, why should I? And should I ask anything or should I let her know that I found out? Can someone tell me how could this be? Why do I feel I'm at fault, he takes the full responsiblity and tells me it was nothing I done. So i think it was just something he wanted to do.<P>Justdon'tunderstandit

Welcome <B>Melinda Bills</B>...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://pages.ivillage.com/re/mb_nsr/MB_GW.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Your H response is quite normal...<BR>...but you need first to work on you...<BR>(don't be surprised by this)<P>Do start by understanding the concepts in my <A HREF="http://pages.ivillage.com/re/mb_nsr/MB_GW.html" TARGET=_blank>Welcome</A> post. <P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>Yes...<BR>...there needs to be some self forgiveness...<BR>...check out <A HREF="http://www.divorcebusting.com/forumlinks4.html" TARGET=_blank>Forgiveness is a Gift You Give Yourself</A> and <A HREF="http://forgivenessweb.com" TARGET=_blank>The Forgiveness Web</A>...<P>...<B>BUT</B>...<P>...in time your H is going to <I>really</I> work too...<P>I would recommend that you have a couple of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7200_phone.html" TARGET=_blank>telephone counseling sessions</A> (~$95US a pop... but well worth it) with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7010_about.html" TARGET=_blank>Steven W. Harley</A> or Jennifer Harley. Check out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counseling Center</A>... and for some specifics... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7015_fee.html" TARGET=_blank>Fees for Counseling Services</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7020_sched.html" TARGET=_blank>Scheduling an Appointment</A> (888-639-1639)!<P>Prayers to you... <P> <P>Jim