HGB Reading your response to hurtingdeeply has put me back on track. I’ve only posted once and never replied because I don’t feel qualified to give sound advice.<P>Only 2 weeks ago my W of 8 years told me of her 3 Mo.affair. Until last night I was very strong, willing to forgive, wanting to forgive and make our marriage stronger than ever. This strength surprised even me because prior to actually knowing, I told myself I’d never stand for anything like this in my marriage. I know that the lord gave this strength to me. I am by no means a religious man, Until very recently. On Sunday I attended church with my wife simply to show my commitment to her. The entire sermon was about love and forgiveness, everyone in the church heard the sermon, but I knew it was for me. I was genuinely touched from above, I left more determined to be strong, forgive and rebuild. So started my relationship with God. Since then I have been reading parts of the bible something I’ve never done. My W and I have agreed to seek counsel both inside and outside of the church and things had been going well.<BR> <BR>Last night I broke down, I asked and received answers to questions I promised myself I would not ask. Knowing details cuts very deeply. <BR>I lost my strength, and I lost my way, I wanted die “not literally but you know the feeling”.<P>I no longer wanted to be touched by my W, when she touched me I saw her touch the OM, I rejected the same touch that has helped me stay strong.<P>I wanted to give her the love busters<P>I wanted to impose all of the hurt right back on her, (we have kept this to ourselves, no one knows), I wanted to tell our friends, her parents the world just to get back at her.<P>After she left for work this AM I packed my bags knowing I did not have the strength to make this marriage work. <P>For some sense of companionship I visit this sight and read. That is when I read your post to hurtingdeeply<P>Thank you for being gods second sign to me (the last thing I packed this AM was a book titled "Torn Asunder". The first book you mention. I have not yet opened it but am leaving for lunch now to do just that. Maybe it will take me home.<P>Thanks<BR>Oswald.<BR>
