Unfortunately OW has his work number, which he cannot change. And since the business is a one office business he can't transfer.<BR> <BR>He told me the OW called Thursday to hope that his relationship is going ok and that if he ever wanted to know anything about the OC it was ok. HEY RIGHT!!!<P>I really believe she is going to start playing alot of games with the OC. I warned him in the first place when she said she wouldn't call anymore and she did, it took a month but she called. <P>I also told him watch how she will use the OC. He said he never had a loving or close relationship with the OC, since he did not know if it is his or want the OC. He even thought the OC was afraid of him. I told him be careful, since you did not respond to this first messages that she starts to say the OC is asking for you or sick or something. He says he might not be able to stop her from calling, but no one can make him call her back.<P>I wish there was a way to convince him to demand (eventhough he did ask for a dna test and she said not after all this time. The Oc is one now.I beleive she is not sure who the father is.) a DNA test. Do you know if there is a way that the alleged father can have the state require the OW to take one?<P>It is very hard not knowing (for me). He seems to not care either way. He doesn't want anything to do with OW or OC. Even it is his he says he just do want the state mandates for financial support, but he will not be a father. Why doesn't she see that?<P>Eventhough he was gone last night ( at his mother with his kids visiting), when he call I told him I missed him. I think he was happy with me saying that. He has called me several times today. I actually excited to see me later this evening. He also stopped to see his sick grandmother today. <P>I love him dearly, but I am thinking of writing him a letter explaining how I feel about the past month (dday). Letting him know that I do take the fault, responsibility of not meeting his emotional needs. But to let him know that I will not take fault or responsibility for his actions of choosing to have an affair, to choosing to have unprotected sex and be in the position of possibly having an OC. These chooses were his and not mine. This is the way he choose to handle his needs.<P>I want to express to him the anger I have of the danger of giving me a veneral disease ( which I had trich last May from OW) and subjected us to all the people she slept with. How can he think she is not such a bad person, and ask him isn't bad enough for a person to have a child from a person (which she really doesn't know if it is his, she did sleep with somebody else or should be ok with the dna test) who is taken and then use this child for attention or try to keep him in her life at even of the means of hurting a child? <P>He had also mention he had good communication with her. I want to remind him yes communication is new and exciting when you first met a person for the first time. Trying to entice and get a man. Then when you told the OW of me, she had to make sure she was perfect, everything great, because she knew there was something not complete in your relationship for you to go to someone else, so she made sure she was at her best at all times to win you over. <P>I would like to write this letter lovingly to him to get it off may chest. Sometimes it hard face to face with him, he see the pain in my face and he can't take it and he get withdrawn or defensive. So I thought a letter would be nice. What do you think? Is this a better approach?<P>Give me your thoughts.<P>
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<P>Jim