My h and I have been married for close to 11 years we have 2 children ages 10m and 4g . My husband also has 2 children from a previous maarriage . Over a year ago my husband was fired from a job . They accused him of indiscretions at a company function . He told me the name of the woman and said it wasn't true . I found his cell bills and found her number on it . I called her she claimed they were just friends . I ask him not to associate with her he said ok. That was 1n 1999 . About 3 weeks ago the phone rang in the middle of the night and I became suspcious .earh thru his phone bills found many calls to her . Hotel reciepts with just a half a day charge . I confronted him on these . He swears that he is not having aan affair with this woman . But the kicker is that he is in bussiness with her . We live in MD. and she is in PA . She is also married . I cannot believe how stupid and blind I have been . I have found that he is going to AC and gambling . He is an complusive gambler. I think it with her . I do not know what to think . I can't trust him . Even if he isn't having an affair . He has lied to me about this woman . We want to work on our marriage and we are going into counseling . I am going crazy whenever he goes to work I wonder where he is with her ? What do I do next . I get thiss sick feeling thinking about it . He acts as if nothing is wrong and life as usual > please HELP . This is my first post > Sorry it so long .

Welcome <B>xraymess</B>...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://pages.ivillage.com/re/mb_nsr/MB_GW.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>I've got you in the <A HREF="http://pages.ivillage.com/mb_nsr/MB_RCI.html" TARGET=_blank>Roll Call Index</A>... <BR>...people will get to know you if you post often<BR>...and when you write... try to break it up into smaller paragraphs... ...it's easier to read.<P>OK...<BR>...please do consider the following...<BR>1. Start on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A><BR>...also check out <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>2. I would recommend that you have a couple of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7200_phone.html" TARGET=_blank>telephone counseling sessions</A> (~$95US a pop... but well worth it) with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7010_about.html" TARGET=_blank>Steven W. Harley</A> or Jennifer Harley. Check out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counseling Center</A>... and for some specifics... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7015_fee.html" TARGET=_blank>Fees for Counseling Services</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7020_sched.html" TARGET=_blank>Scheduling an Appointment</A> (888-639-1639)!<P>3. The gambling problem could be very serious (as if the affair wasn't enough...)<BR>Counseling for him ("Gamblers Anonymous") is a must...<P>You have a lot to learn...<BR>...mostly about yourself...<BR>...read all you can from my <A HREF="http://pages.ivillage.com/re/mb_nsr/MB_GW.html" TARGET=_blank>Welcome</A> post...<P><B>You are not alone</B>!<P> <P>Jim

I am sorry to see you are here, xraymess. I too have that sick in the gut feeling often when my H. says it is over, but there is no proof. Don't worry about feeling like a fool, I have felt like a fool, acted like one, and still have moments when I wish I could just make believe this was all a dream.<BR>If you have found hotel receipts, I would think PA. (Physical Affair). My H. had an EA (emotional affair) with OW (Other Woman) on line who lives in Indiana. OW Emailed me for a while, and then just stopped. I have to believe she stopped because she felt guilty, or she stopped because my H. made her feel she was more important than my marriage. I wish you luck, and I will try to post to your questions. You too, are in a fog, so you need to take care of you as best as you can. I hope that all is well. gn

Thank you for your reply I was begining to wonder if any was ou there . My husband and I saw the marriage counseler yesterday . It was horrible . He thinks I should stop feeling the way I do HURT ,ANGRY , etc.<BR>He still sticks to his story of no affair . I now question maybe its an EA . Then what I stll have lost trust in him . Our counselor wants us to try and be more respectful to each other but its ao hard to be civil . <BR>I guess I need to get past it and try to work toward trying to forgive but firstwe need to learn to communicate better . He shuts down whenever I want to talk . Any advice .