Well, should I follow H. or not? He stayed Wednesday through Tonight, then when I walked through the door from working and H. was packed and ready to go. He said he had to get back and take back the computer he said he needed to fix for his sister. He then left. I did followed, for a while, then lost him. I am trying to ease my conscience, but should I try again? Or should I just let it be? H. does not live here, but washes here, eats here, I still pay his debts here. And yet, he refuses to tell me where he is living. What now?

Snug,<BR>I’m no expert here, but this just doesn’t seem right he gets his a cake and can eat it too. From your reply to my last post it seems that he is manipulating this situation to his benefit. I don’t think you should follow him. You’re just driving yourself crazy. Not easing your conscience. Plan B may be a necessary alternative. Your family seems concerned, would they be willing to offer some help with the childcare if you do go to plan B because if you do, he can’t come over everyday. Again I don’t know for sure what you should do. But your H doesn’t seem to be taking any of this too seriously. Maybe it is time ???<P>Keep working on yourself or you'll just keep going in circles.<P>oswald<BR>

Hi Snug,<P>Sounds to me like he's taking advantage of the situation. I don't think you should follow him anymore, nor should you consume yourself with thoughts of what he is doing. I am not an expert either, but my feelings are, move on to Plan B and take care of yourself. I feel so angry that he thinks he can just take advantage of you like that. Don't let him. Give yourself importance and set some boundaries. I know it's hard, but I really do believe that you can make good for yourself and your children by moving on. If he decides to come around later on, then good for him. In the meantime, take care of yourself and your children. Don't worry about what he's doing so much. Easier said that done, I know. Self-healing is very important. It will also help place value in your life so dependency on your H will not be there so much. You seem to be a very sweet and kind person. You deserve to be happy. <P>Please take care...<P>--BJ

Thank you for all your advice. I think that following him would be a big mistake too. I am going to set some boundries and move on to plan B. I think he is manipulating me to get financial help from me. I hope I am doing God's plan and not going on my own self understanding. I think I need more time without him to see what happens now. I will keep you all posted.--gn