Hi i'm new here<BR>If you want to know my whole story or most of it read my message "I don't know what to believe"<P>I want your opinions. My husband had a one night stand or he claims it was only that with someone right before we married. he hadn't seen me in almost a year and I know from others that this girl relentlessly pursued him... he claims he was immediately ashamed. I just found out a few months back about this after 3 1/2 years of marriage. Do you all think he will continue to cheat in our marriage and maybe even has been? As far as I know there is nothing else and he spends all of his free time with me and our son. He tells me he doesn't know why he did it... he guesses he was just horny and she was around and willing and he did it and then was ashamed but he never told me himself...<BR>oh i wish i could go back in time<BR>

Hello Dying, I think you need to be honest with your husband, and ask him to be honest with you. Rebuilding trust is the hardest thing I have ever done. I don't know if my H. is still emailing the OW, but I am going to trust that he isn't unless I found out differently. This shows my H. I am trying to believe in him, and not LB him every time I feel insecure. It also shows my H. that I will not be easily persuaded to believe him, because I have asked for proof of the relationship has been disolved. He has not provided that information. I continue my routine not showing him my fears, but I am not allowing him access to my heart until he shows me that the relationship has ended. When that happens, I will allow him to have access to my heart and my bed freely. I want to believe in him, and show him that I do by not asking repeatedly. I asked him one time and shut up. I will wait for an answer. You might need to be stronger than you ever have been in your life. You need to stand firm until you get the answers you feel you deserve, but continue in your life and not change the routine. Help your husband understand your feelings, concerns, and fears by gently and calming telling him in a non-threatening way. But be strong in your decision to either stand by him, or not until the answers are met. You have the right to know what he has done, or not done. Only you can decide if he is being honest or not. I wish you the best--gn