Well this is a revelation we actually spoke about calmly.<P>When d-day happen which is just this Oct he told me of one of the OW, then end of Nov I found a couple of more people he dealt with a hairum. He was thinking if he had abc he would not give anyone quality time so no attachements. No real dating, just give a call I am coming thru, have sex, wipe off and leave until the next time. They all knew of me and one of them had a OC, she won't test so we are in doubt it's his, but one of the other ones did leave a message of loving him.<P>When we talked about the first revelation in October (ow and OC) he told me how good they communicated. When the revelation of the other ones in November he was like they would jump at being in my shoes.<P>The subject of the "FOG" came in place. I told him don't you realize when thing are starting new, in the flirting stages its fun and exciting, just like when we first met. Then when they start enjoying your company too much and you realize they are getting more serious the wanting to be just a sex toy you tell them about me. Now it a whole new ballgame with them, they are now in strategic mode. They have to be at there absolute best, creative, fun and exciting because now they have to get you away from me. He realized this and we talk about it for quite awhile. I believe he knows now that all this fun and exciting time was just a fa'sod (sorry for spelling) on their part to capture his attention,to get him away from me, when he was just getting an ego boost and not even considering a real relationship. I told him if he would spend time with them it would equal out like any relationship he had before me and even ours. Its all exciting and new in the beginning, but after spending quality time it start to level out and it more of a quality relationship. not just a sex game.<P>Well of course I have been in recovery for a couple of months, I believe his has cut it off, will there be set backs? He has changed his cell phone number (which they had), he changed his business cards. however cannot change work number.<P>I believe he understands the "FOG" they get into as far as fun,sex and exciting. I worry because he had at least 3 options of OW can he slow down can he be satisfied by one. He said he only went to them when he was feeling neglected in the bedroom, he felt like it was a chore for me. So he went to the exciting sluts. <P>I knew I did some shutting off because of hurt from other relationship and my first marriage. But now I let my walls down and sometimes when I get aggressive he can't proform. Does this happen to men? He say maybe he bit more than he could chew. He says he has to get use to me being the aggressor in the bedroom. Is this true?<P>Well we have been together 9 years and even yesterday when he suspected I was having a bad day, he said I have to much time and love for you to mess it up behind some BS. All that BS is over.This made me feel secure and happy.<P>Do we sound, even though in a short time, going in the right direction?<P><BR>