delete<p>[This message has been edited by vernon3 (edited May 15, 2001).]

How do you think your husband would react to your snooping? I think everything in a marriage should be open, If your feel the need to snoop, then do so, but don't deny it if he asks you. Tell him honestly how you feel, and why you are insecure, and let him know that you are trying to make a strong commitment to this marriage. I am not one to offer to much advice. I snooped and found a few love letters in his email. I think if you have the fear, there is something wrong, and you need to clear the air with him. Can you talk with the OW and do you feel she would be honest with you? Never stop doubting your self worth, that is what is happening to me. Your situation sounds familiar, but not completely, Snoop if you need to to find the answers your H. is not giving you--Good luck, god bless gn

vernon3<P>Nowadays, with the danger of contracting STDs, it's important for one to know if their spouse is or has been involved in a physical affair, even if there was no intercourse since some STDs can be spread by kissing and oral sex, not to mention anal sex. <P>I did some snooping on my new husband when I saw signs of other women in his life, and found out to my amazement that he was having daily sex with several disreputable young women in our bed while I was at work. I did leave him, and not too soon because he came down with an STD not long after that. <BR> <BR>My husband was in his 70s, having great daily sex with me, and he appeared to be a fine moral and religious person, so don't count anyone out if you see signs of an affair.<P>hth<BR>Gail<P>P.S. Off topic, but I found out that he had an STD while helping his grown daughters obtain copies of all his medical records when he was diagnosed with lung cancer. We also found that he had colon cancer that his trusted family physician (and friend) didn't tell him or his family about. So I always collect my medical records and see what they say. Even I could see an enormous black growth in his colon from an x-ray he'd had a month or two earlier. There should be a report with every set of x-rays, and notes each doctor writes after each of your visits to him/her. I think you can contact your (US) county medical association to verify if these records belong to you. In my county they do. <p>[This message has been edited by computergal (edited December 16, 2000).]