Seven years in to our marriage with two children to show for it, my W expressed the desire to re-live a Female-Female experience, she'd had before we met. <P>We discussed the idea and eventually she found a similiarly married lady of the same ilk.<P>They met a number of times and my W was very open about the whole thing. <P>The first mistake came when I agreed to meet the other couple for dinner and thought it odd that the H paid my W a lot of unexpected attention. <P>His W was also very suspicious and was confirmed within a week when he just happen to come home during one of the girls get togethers and joined in.<P>I was blissfully unaware of what was going on but grew more suspicious as the day went on and my W hadn't returned in the expected time. She told me about the chance turning up of the husband and i later discovered they had both been planning it. I felt utterly betrayed at this point and was in emotional shock.<P>She said that she would break off all contact and never speak/email either of them again - and I believed her (foolishly)<P>At the same time the wife of the other guy had gone balistic at him and the ontact between her and my Wife stopped.<P>By chance i happened upon some email messages from supposed female contacts which turn out to be the husband with the messages being on the lines of consoling each other that they had been found out and that they need to lie low and be more discreet, he by using a female alias and she by doing nothing (duh!)<P>My W i have discovered is very good at shifting blame turning situations around etc. The upshot of the other husband entering the frame was purely down to me because I never gave her any compliments which is just not the case and in my mind she has done this out of boredom, may be of me or her life who knows. I see this guy as a predatory male, who knows which buttons to press and the right words to say but I can't believe she can't see past this front, maybe she doesn't want to. He's even stated that he would never leave his wife and family for her, so what does that tell?<P>The contact between his wife and mine has recently restarted and she's telling mine about the other couples they've made contact with and the various 'Swingers' Clubs they've been to. Overall who great things are between them.<P>My wife and he had two failed attempts to meet up, in the last year, and now we see the entrance of another guy who she is using to instigate a foursome with the husband and wife some time in the near future. The new guy is also using a female persona to prevent me from being suspicious! and they've already met for a chat.<P><BR>The problems/dilemma<P>1. How to confront my Wife with what I know<P>2. Should I confront the other husband likewise<P>3. Tell his wife<P>4. Since she's gone out of her way to lie to me as to when she's going out and the fact she never did break off the contact can I ever trust her, if we manage to get through this.<P>The only thing keeping me sane, at the moment, are my two young children. The other thing that hurts greatly is the way she behaves as if she is doing nothing wrong, ie.the devoted wife routine!<P>As you can imagine the nature of this prevents me from talking to any of my friends and/or family as we're seen as the happy couple with no cares in the world!<P>Any guidance is much appreciated.<P>Thanks for listening.<P>S

I would suggest you think about contacting<BR>a lawyer and seeking custody of your children. Your wife is putting you at tremendous risk for contacting STD's. She is<BR>back involved with the woman and now a new<BR>sex male partner and talks about swinging.<BR>You are in for a great deal of pain and <BR>anguish from this woman. I repeat you and<BR>your wife's health are in danger. It is just<BR>a matter of time with your wife's behavior.<BR>Please reread your letter and figure out what<BR>you would have written back if it was not you. Your children should not be raised by<BR>this woman. I repeat she is putting you at<BR>great risk.<BR>

P.S.<P>I forgot to mention that I thought you made<BR>a terrible mistake by accepting your wife's <BR>desire to be intimate with another woman at<BR>the beginning. When you agreed you basically<BR>said it was all right to cheat on you and <BR>break her marriage vows. What would she have<BR>said if you for example had told her that before you were married that you had a terrific sexual encounter with an Asian lady and would it be all right if you tried to find another Asian woman to be intimate with<BR>now? I am sure your wife would have said<BR>absolutely not. When you said it was all right to cheat with another women then you<BR>give her a license to cheat period with your<BR>blessing. I am afraid you have now opened<BR>a Pandora's box and I do not know how you<BR>can close it. Good Luck<BR>Asian woman to have sex with?