Perhaps someone can tell me weather or not to keep my mouth shut.<P>I have been a BS. Big time. My first wife asked for a divorce in 1980 after starting what turned <BR>out to be her second affair, she is now married to the OM. I married my current wife in 1985. She <BR>had a one year affair that started in 1990 with a man we met on a vacation and a one night stand <BR>in 1995 with someone she met via the internet.<P>I have forgiven but have not forgotten. I went through the anger, resentment, rage and just general <BR>bad feelings. My wife and I cussed and discussed these situations almost to death. These days I <BR>feel as over it as I am going to get. Our marriage is great. I have absolutely no doubt that she has <BR>been faithful for the past five years. In fact, I consider her past infidelity to be a dead issue.<P>But something weird happened a couple of weeks ago. <P>I went to pick her up from a holiday party because she had way too much to drink. In the car she <BR>announced that she wanted to have sex in the back seat. Nice guy that I am, I obliged. On the <BR>way home she told me the story of the last time she had sex in a car. The person had just bought <BR>a yellow '57 Chevy and wanted to have sex with her in it to "christen" it. <P>She did not mention a name. She didn't have to. The only man she ever knew who owned a <BR>yellow '57 Chevy was somebody I will refer to as "Steve". She had dated "Steve" before we got <BR>engaged. She convinced me that they were "just friends" and kept in touch with him until he <BR>moved out of state about a year after our wedding. The thing is: I know for a fact that "Steve" did <BR>not buy his yellow '57 Chevy until AFTER we were married.<P>The fact that my wife was unfaithful in the first year of our marriage was news to me, but not <BR>shocking news. Like I said before, her infidelity is now a dead issue. It is said that what does not <BR>kill us makes us stronger and I think that holds true for a marriage as well. Her infidelity did not kill <BR>our marriage, but it did open up communication between us. And that did make the marriage <BR>stronger.<P>So the question is: do I confront her with a 15 year old infidelity when the infidelity issue is <BR>resolved, or do I simply keep my mouth shut? What would you do?

You better wait until you get other advice, because I think I'm not the best one to be helping here. However, I'll give you my thoughts.<P>Fundamentally, I'd think it was best to talk to her about it. It is a long time in the past, and you say you have dealt with these issues from the past, but if it were me, I think it might bug me. BUT, that is just me. If it was going to bug me at all, I'd talk to her. If it will have no effect on you, then maybe you don't need to. If your communication lines are open nicely, then it shouldn't be a huge problem to talk about.<P>Tough call I guess. Do what is right for you based on what you know.

Holding her indiscretions from so long ago... over her head... is not healthy!<P>MB concepts claim all it is good to have all forms of honesty...<BR>...including "historic" honesty...<P>Now... how I would handle this is...<P>...either in a <B>VERY</B> non-threatening counseling session... if your in counseling.<P>...or...<P>...better yet...<BR>...if you believe in it... <A HREF="http://www.wwme.org/new.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage Encounter Weekend</A>(s) ... or <A HREF="http://www.retrouvaille.org/" TARGET=_blank>Retrouvaille</A> ... it can be best handle there!<P>...emphasis on forgiveness has to be great...<P>...forgetting will come in time!<P> <P>Jim