Insecurity talking here. I was a virgin bride at 19. H had been with high school sweetheart before me. H had affair recently.<P>Do you ever wish your virgin partner had more experience? I think I am past the revenge affair stage, but sometimes I wonder if I am missing out on something. Or if H wonders if he is missing out on something because he has been my only teacher.<P>Just want some opinions.

Barbara Ann,<P>Everyone wonders about this subject at one time or another. I doubt seriously if you being a virgin had anything to do with his affair. <P>About him missing something because he was your only teacher. Consider that if he doesn't like the student he should have spent more time tutoring her. <P>As for you missing something, well I don't know what to say. Maybe yes, maybe no. The mechanics of sex are pretty well known and you can go to any bookstore and find books that will show you and teach you more than most people do.<P>Different partners are different because of who they are, how they view things (yes even sex), but not so much for their physical attributes. I am sure there are some extreme attributes that some may find appealing, but most people are pretty average.<P>So if you think you would like more variety, learn some more things and try them on your H. Talk with him about them, what he dreams about, and try what interests you.<P>I truely think you should consider yourself as a 19 year old virgin bride, as someone to be proud of.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

I was a virgin when I met my W. It was something that I felt good about. Early on, she stated she thought I would be wondering "what else was out there". That honestly never has crossed my mind and we seemed to get past that issue eventually.

Barabra Ann,<P>I can understand where you're coming from with your questions.<P>My wife and I were both virgins when we meet and she recently had a PA. I think part of why I hurt so much over her PA is that we have lost that special bond we had in only ever having been with each other. It's so weird to know that after over 22 years together (2.5 before marriage and almost 20 married) another man has been with my wife. It's funny but it was always something I was proud of, that we had each waited for the right person and had married that person. Emotionally it's tough for me not having that bond anymore. <P>I often wonder if part of the reason why she had the affair wasn't to find out if someone else was better or different in bed. To experiment. If she was looking to see if she was missing something. So, maybe it's commen for us "virgins" to wonder why our spouses suddenly wandered.<P>I hope things work out for you. Hang in there.<P>Archer<P>