My H and I have been married for 2 years on the 15th. We have a 10 month old daughter and I am unexpeditaly pregnant agian, due in June. I cam home X-Mas eve and found him with another woman. No sexual activities, but there was an affiar. It had been going on sexually since the first of the month of Dec. I had gut feelings but he denied. Well within a week I packed up and moved back to my mothers in VA, he is in MO. <P>This came as a total shock, i NEVER thought in a million years he would do this. He would even downgrade people who did. But he did. At first I was screaming divorce, but now I don't want to. I want at most a legl seperation. But I see this affair as a wake up call. i really messed up in the marriage. I NEVER meet his needs. People tell me that it isn't your fault. But it is. He tried opening up and talking ot me,a nd I always shoot him down. I am a very dominant and independent woman. I am not beating myself up over it, I am using this affiar as my advantage, and saying ok, I messed up, let fix it. He was in the wrong for many things himself, and there was a lot of things we both were in the wrong for, but these things are fixble. But he isn't wanting to work thing out. I know my husband and I aknow that he will regret this one day. My husband and I are meant for each other, and we have a special bond that no one else can share. But I feel he is clowded by OW. He doesn't want to work things out, but I know it is his emotions right now. I am now 5 states away and I can't see him to talk to him in person. What to do? Should I let him go and say it is over, should I continue to work things out, or should I step back and let him go and live his life and then be there when he is ready?

Welcome <B>my_little_dream</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>Learn a little first...<BR>...then consider moving back out...<BR>...and try to begin reconciliation through the MB techniques...<P>You might also consider... some counseling...<BR>I would recommend that you have a couple of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7200_phone.html" TARGET=_blank>telephone counseling sessions</A> (~$95US a pop... but well worth it) with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7010_about.html" TARGET=_blank>Steven W. Harley</A> or Jennifer Harley. Check out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counseling Center</A>... and for some specifics... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7015_fee.html" TARGET=_blank>Fees for Counseling Services</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7020_sched.html" TARGET=_blank>Scheduling an Appointment</A> (888-639-1639)!<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>