3.5 months since d Day. Executed plan B and she came back crying and want to work on it. She wants us to work on it together. because the councelor we were using before didn't help. <P>Where do I start? I have the book "your love and marriage" by Harley. I want her to read it. I disscusses plan A and B. And what to do if your WS has a relapse and such. If she reads all of my insight. She will see through what I am doing if we have problems again. I feel like I am giving up my battle plan books. However, I can't teach her all of this because she needs to read it on her own. What should I do. I don't have "His Needs Her needs" would that be a better read for her to begin with or "Men are from Mars..." We are going to design a plan and follow it and when we run into problems we are going to consult Dr. Harley. What do you think. Can we do it with out a local counclor? Do you have any suggestions on a better game plan or any pointers that will help us? Thank you for your input. You guys have helped me survive during this awful time in my life. <P>I thank you so much for your support.

The book <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html" TARGET=_blank> "His Needs, Her Needs"</A> is the best book for recover...<BR>...it doesn't dwell on Plan B as much!<P>If arguing is a problem... also consider <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6030_love.html" TARGET=_blank> "Love Busters"</A>!<P>Once recovery is firm... I like <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6010_give.html" TARGET=_blank> "Give & Take: The Secret to Marital Compatibility"</A> best of all... especially when it came to understanding <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>The Policy of Joint Agreement(POJA)</A>... and I think that is one of the key concepts <B>in recovery</B>!<P>"Men are from Mars..." is OK...<BR>...but isn't as focused on "skill building"...<BR>...it's more of a "recogonition" of differences!<P>I'd go with the Harley counseling...<BR>...it is really well worth the money...<BR>...and directs you down a clear unambiguous path! You can check for referrals to a local counselor... but that may be hard to come by... and you may have to do your own search for counselor who really follows the MB concepts.<P>In preparation for the Harley counseling...<BR>download... the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4120_lovebustq.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters Questionnaire</A> and the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4110_emndsq.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs Questionnaire</A>.<P>Fill them out...<BR>Discuss them with each other...<P>I'd also recommend looking into <A HREF="http://www.wwme.org/new.html" TARGET=_blank>World Wide Marriage Encounter</A>s.<P> <P>Jim