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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 144
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Posts: 144
I went and posted for a while in recovery, but was unsuccessful with the out come. I did not keep my promises not to love bust. All I ended up doing was making a bad situation worse. I confronted h. on the new evidence, but it blew up in my face. I should have never went this far. This idea of his affair is becoming an obsession I can't seem to control now. Every time he leaves I fight mental demons of doubt and insecurity. Every time the phone rings, my heart jumps, today is Valentine's day, and I have a fear that he wants to be some where else. But he is not some where else, he is here with me. What am I to do now? How Can I let go of the hurt and the pain? How can I begin to understand that the more I hold on, the worse my pain becomes? I love my husband with every fiber of my being. I have no concepts of what live would be without him. Yet, I hurt him deeply. It feel likes one step forward, 10 steps sliding back. I feel I am not progressing at times, only regressing. Will this pass too? What can I do to rebuild me and stop tearing him apart? Any advice would be helpful. My d-day was 9/15/00, am I hoping for a miracle to soon? Help me to understand what I am doing wrong, so that I can show my h. how I really feel, and not give in to the doubts? Help please, I want my husband to know this, but he doubts my sanity at this stage in our marriage. I am hitting a rock bottom. I am committed to him, to this love I have for him, how can I convince him of this? Thank you for all and any advice--gn

Joined: Sep 1999
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Do check out...<P><A HREF="http://www.anger-stress-marriage.com" TARGET=_blank>Anger & Stress Management Communication Skills for Marriages and Relationships in Conflict</A><P>and<P><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/034541344X" TARGET=_blank><B>The Art of Forgiving :</B> When You Need to Forgive and Don't Know How</A> by Lewis B. Smedes <BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060674318" TARGET=_blank><B>Forgive and Forget </B>: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve</A> by Lewis B. Smedes <BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0785282556" TARGET=_blank><B>The Choosing to Forgive Workbook</B></A> by Les Carter, Frank Minirth <P>Letting go of hurt is hard when you don't forgive...<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Jim


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