The last time I was on this board, I was all excited about my H agreeing to go to counseling with me. It seemed at first that we had made some serious headway. Well, he lied. For those of you that are looking for a brief background - here's the scoop: Almost 3 years ago, I had a PA. It ended after three months pretty much the same way Dr. Harley describes a natural death in SAA. I told him 1 year later, then he engages in a six month PA what I affectionately call a revenge affair. Well, we went to counseling back in October around the same time he engages in another PA. This time with a different OW. I mean it's like BAM!!!! What the heck is this? He sits in counseling staring me dead in the face and says, I'll never do that again. <P>Last night we went out (pre-discovery) then I became agitated that he was leaving home after we were supposedly having an evening together. I get upset and just left. While we're both out, the OW calls my house! She doesn't leave a message. I try to call him at his friend's house only to find he's not there. I call the number on the ID and a woman (voice unfamilar answers)He wasn't there, I have yet to know who else is involved in this. That's when I find out. After yelling at his friend for lying and trying to place blame on me, I throw all of his things out of the closet, break glasses (remember no one is home but me) in my fit of anger. I then pack up my stuff and trek out to another county to my mom's (hour drive). Now he's back all repenant and *&^%#. (Excuse me, I know this is a family page). He wants me to take him back. My trust is shattered. I thought I could handle it the first time and was wrong, so I sought counseling. This time, I'm not so sure I'll ever be able to trust him again. It seems to be a pattern, if I'm depressed he screws around. I don't get it.<P>Thanks for letting me vent. Here I am 8 months later and have to go through the whole cycle again. Sade has a new song that sums me up right now- King of Sorrow.