My H revealed his affair, but doesn't want to give up the OW. I've told him that in order for our marriage to heal, he'll have to stop seeing her, but he isn't sure what he wants. What should I do? I feel I have little control and am waiting on these two inconsiderate slobs to determine the outcome of my marriage.<BR>Since H's disclosure, we've had plenty of dialog that had been sorely missing. At least we're talking...

Read everything you can on Dr. Harley's site. I know exactly what you're going through.<BR> Remember, though you're justified in being angry, you will only drive your H into her arms if you can't control it. He is in the fog right now and it may take a long time for him to come out of it. He may never.<BR>Hoping for the best<BR>hope

Welcome <B>whatwasithinking</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>Talking... honestly... will be difficult at first...<BR>...but do it lovingly.<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

I know what you are going through having just been through it myself. Communication and an open dialog is crucial for your marriage to survive. In addition to talking, your husband MUST give up the OW. He has to cut all ties with her and concentrate on you--if he indeed wants to save your marriage. Unfortunately it is his decision. My husband made it for me--I hope yours does it for you. Good luck.