from elo:<BR>1. female<BR>2. betrayed<BR>3. still married 20+ yrs.<BR>4. knew spouse for 3 yrs fore marr.<BR>5. 13 mos. since discovery (1/2000)<BR>6. 13 mos. length of affair (1/2000)<BR>7. Emot/phys affair.<BR>8. one affair<BR>9. Discussed plan A/b with Dr. Harley on<BR> radio show on 2/26/2001.<BR> Have counseling appt. with S. Harley on<BR> 2/27/2001<BR>10. affair started 1/2000.<BR> did not ask him to leave.<BR> he left 3/13/2000; ret'd for 10 days;<BR> he left again 3/30/2000; still separated.<BR>11. Op is 3xmarr/div.<BR>12. op is barmaid; met ws in bar.<BR>13. WS filed 2x/stopped d. 2x. ambivalent.<BR>14. Principal I am following:<BR> a. intuition/gut instinct<BR> * told him I do not want a d.<BR> * he abandoned us; he did file but <BR> div. yet (good sign?)<BR> b. trying to become stronger; so <BR> ws will feel secure to try recovery.<BR> c. reading many books on affair/recovery<BR>15. 1 week on MB<P>Additional info:<BR>1. 3 ch/16 yr. son/11,13 yr old dtr.<BR>2. physical custody/me/he left<BR>3. I have been in counseling; haven't<BR> endured with anyone; can't empathize<BR> with my pain; no confidence in them.<BR>4. no meds<BR>5. mid/life crisis- yes/ws;rejection of<BR> family respon/wife/whole picture.<BR>6. alcohol-major factor in equation<BR> (h./op in accident two weeks after<BR> affair began; alcohol involved;<BR> a dwi for him; another 6 mos later;<BR> op has 2 dwi convictions in TX.)<BR> only compatability-alcohol addiction<BR>7. verbal abuse<BR>8. no suicide attempted<BR>

<BR>Hi elo,<P>How are you feeling about all this?<P>Prose answer requested <P>

Hi Elo<P>I read your complete story two days ago. My goodness, you must be one strong woman! I hope I will be as strong as you are if I ever have the situation that you do.<P>I think you are stronger than you think. If things were the other way around, your husband would have compoletely lost it because you know how men are!<P>I must commend you on your willingness to fight to save your marriage. It is a joining done by God and only under certain circumstances are we to dissolve it. But you are the one who knows exactly what you're going through, so you're the one that has to make the decisions. <P>How are you keeping up now? I do wish you the best and hope that the plan you are using now will work.<P>You and your family are in my prayers.<BR>GOD BLESS! <P>------------------<BR>CPL