I really need some help in this. my husband is talking to other women on the internet.he insists that they contacted him not the other way around. but he does talk to them. he keeps telling me that it's just friendly chatting nothing more. but i feel very uncomftable about this. <BR>i tried to explain to him that one can also have an emotional affair, but he doens't understand that. he doens't believe that it's reason to stop the chatting. <BR>can someone help me how to explain that this is important???<BR>how do i explain the emotional affair and that this is somthing that one needs to block and say no to? <P><BR>[This message has been edited by Sammy (edited February 28, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by Sammy (edited February 28, 2001).]

Hello Sammy,<P>I am no expert but I’ll off my thoughts. First your H is in denial so of course to him what he is doing is perfectly harmless. Based on that there is probably very little you can do in the way of convincing him otherwise in one conversation. It is a good time to start your plan A. For now check out <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html</A> to get a better understanding of the basic concepts around here.<P>I would recommend getting the book His Needs/Her Needs. Read it first then see if you can get him to read it. Another good one is SAA Surviving an Affair. Both are available on this site. <P>There is nothing wrong with calmly asking him to stop this activity. The key is calmly, you have to be none threatening. Actually nagging will just make him angry and may make him go undercover and hide the situation from you. You can be honest, tell him how it makes you feel, when he does this sort of thing. Just be sure to do it in a non-LB way.<P>You already know you are uncomfortable with his actions, the books will help identify what can happen if the situation goes unchanged. There is only a fine line between and EA and PA, one that will eventually be crossed in most cases. <P>Welcome to MB, <BR>oswald <BR><p>[This message has been edited by oswald (edited February 28, 2001).]

Send him...<BR>...or have a friend send him... this list...<P><A HREF="http://www.wildxangel.com/" TARGET=_blank>What They're Not Telling You - Or How to Read Between the Lies!!</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.chatcheaters.com" TARGET=_blank>Internet Infidelity Prevention, Detection, Advice and Books</A><BR><A HREF="http://netaddiction.com/" TARGET=_blank>Center for On-Line Addiction</A><P> <P>Jim

Here is another one <A HREF="http://temagami.uwaterloo.ca/~petz/affair.html" TARGET=_blank>http://temagami.uwaterloo.ca/~petz/affair.html</A> <BR>

This is a good site too<BR> <A HREF="http://www.dearpeggy.com/affairsmenu.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.dearpeggy.com/affairsmenu.html</A> <P>

Thank you all very much for your links and thoughts. i really appritiate this.<BR>i'm hoping to get a change to tlak about this with him soon. <BR>