I'm 16 days past discovery of her affair and we are following the Harley Basic Concepts and doing remarkably well. One BIG PROBLEM is that I cannot stand to have her friends calling her anymore to check up on the latest in this soap opera. These were supposedly my friends too. At least that's the message they always gave me in typical gushy ways. I feel betrayed by them as they provided "cover" for her to be out with him. I feel that they were encouraging her to play out this soap opera so they'd have something juicy for their girl talk sessions. I can't stand their phoniness to me and when one of them calls it triggers all of my negative emotions. On Sunday morning, one of them called. She had a short conversation. Nevertheless she could see me stewing about it, so she confronted me. It was an ugly scene for both of us in front of the kids no less. I stormed out of the house, but we did talk it through on the phone and we were back together later in the day. Am I out of place with these feelings of resentment toward a couple of her friends? We really have come so far in so short of time on everything else. It seems that I have bottled up all of my anger in the jar titled "girlfriends." In the meantime, she has agreed to tell them not to call here, she will call them when she has time and I'm not around. Any thoughts and perspectives would be appreciated.

I think that your angry is completely justified. You have<BR>nothing to be sorry about. I know it would make me angry<BR>just thinking about her friends. My worry would be that <BR>since her friends encouraged this from the beginning what<BR>will stop them from encouraging this again in the future.<BR>I think that your wife needs new friends.

Not only does your W need new friends...<BR>...she needs <B>you</B> as her major friend!<P>More time together!<P>Having her talk to them... only when you're not around...<BR>...is a good first move though!<P> <P>Jim

i JUST FOUND OUT IN DECEMBER. ONE OF THE MAJOR PROBLEMS THAT CORRUPTED MY WIFE WAS HER FRIENDS. MY WIFE HAS VOLUNTEERED TO KEEP HER FRIENDS AWAY AND THIS HAS SEEMED TO MAKE A REMARKABLE DIFFERENCE IN HER ATTITUDE. fIND A WAY TO GET THEM OUT OF YOUR AND HER LIFE.