There is a child on the way in about 3 more months for my husband. I have never been with anyone but him the entire time we have been together (3 years). Some days, I have accepted it, other days I wish he would hurt like I do. How do I let go? I am so disappointed and I really took pride in the fact that we WERE loyal to each other. As for my belief in God that tells me to forgive him, I still want him to suffer, but I am not supposed to get even.<BR>Where do I begin to let go of this disappointment?<BR>Thanks, in advance

Forgiving is something you do more for yourself than for the person who harmed you. It does mean a commitment not to use the offense as a weapon against them, but it doesn't mean that they don't have to face the consequences of the actions. Your disappointment, pain and anger are consequences of your husband's choice to be unfaithful. This doesn't mean that you use them to hurt him, but that the expression of those emotions as you heal will be hard for him.<P>Getting even would only add to the damage already done. Getting even might seen like it would put you on an even playing field, but it wouldn't. You wouldn't get the good feelings you desire, you would only add guilt to the pain and anger you already feel.<P>You say you believe in God. If you do and if you have a personal relationship with Him, then I urge you to turn to Him for help here. He isn't going to wave a magic wand and take all these feelings away, but He will give you the tools and strength you need to make this journey. I highly recommend Experiencing God Day by Day by Henry Blackaby as a devotion book. I also highly recommend Torn Asunder by Dave Carder as a marriage restoration book. <P>The presence of a child is definitely a complication that isn't going to go away. The future is in yours and your husband's hands. If you both commit to the healing of your marriage, you can make it. But this will require doing the things necessary to move beyond the grief and anger and focusing on the future, not the past.<P>------------------<BR>"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

<BR>Revenge is like taking posion yourself and waiting for the other person to die.<P>I have found I can't forgive without God's help. Be honest with God tell Him you don't want to forgive but you are willing to become willing to forgive. Remember if we don't forgive, God can't forgive us. We all have sin that needs forgiving and God is the only one who judges our sins. We are not to say "well his sin is worse than mine". We are just humans we don't have this kind of power.Yield to God.<BR>gentle