Had a 1 1/2 hr talk with H last night. Don't know whether it was positive or not. He said he feels a deep connection with OW (soul-mate was word describing it) that he doesn't think he had with me, ever. Says he has shared things from his past with her that he never told anyone in the world before and vice versa. He refuses to stop seeing her. He said his sister told him to slow down and let his head catch up to his heart and he said he did that and he is good now. He saw her yesterday afternoon/early evening and she wanted to get a hotel and spend the night and he told her no he wasn't going to do that - told me he wouldn't do the overnight thing anymore and he was going home. Sounds like she is slowly putting pressure on him. Does all this sound like the typical fog that he might emerge from or what? Having trouble staying positive. Thinking it might be a losing battle that I'm fighting, and I should just accept that the marriage is probably over. He says because of the money situation he can't move out but maybe when school gets out he can and then asked me how long I wanted him around. So confused, depressed, just want to stay in bed all day. Can't seem to motivate myself to take care of things like house, kids, groceries, etc. I have been e-mailing him at work and he had been sharing them with her and said last night that he would keep them between us if I wanted him to. I told him this a.m. that it would mean alot to me if he would. Anyones feedback, please!<P>Barely hanging on,<BR>Darlene

Darlene,<P>I want you to know that you not the only one out there. My husband said it himself. My husband told me "so I would understand." I told him that I did understand and that is why we need to separate so you can be with you soulmate. I feel for you. Keep your head up.

Hello smith5863<P>Is this guy crazy? How can he share your e-mails with the OW? And let you know it too? That is so incredibly insensitive of him!! Why doesn't he want to stay away from her? I guess that's because he feels he's "in love".<P>Well,guess what, when the fog clears, he'd better know where he is. Just keep doing your part and if he says plainly that he doesn't want to be with you, then just let go, baby. Don't go on hurting yourself.<P>Do give it all you've got, but know when to let go. I'll be praying for you.<P>GOD BLESS.<P>------------------<BR>CPL

Darlene,<P>I've been reading a book called "Infidelity - A Survival Guide" by Don-David Lusterman, and it says something interesting about affairs.<P>It says that affairs exist in a bubble - a private world full of excitement and mystery...totally untouched by daily reality. (bills, mortgages, laundry, taking out garbage, kids, etc)<BR>Each person is so caught up in the affair, that they neglect to see the other for who they really are.<BR>That is the fuel that keeps the affair going.<P>When the affair partners are then put in a situation where they have to deal with real life as well as eachother (ie: moving in together) the bubble of the affair is usually quick to burst, and they come to see that this person they have been so <B>infatuated</B> with has flaws.<BR>This discovery is usually the beginning of many more where the other persons shortcomings come to light, and statistically (sp?) speaking, most affairs will end as a result.<P>When I first read that little bit, it really helped me to have hope. <BR>I hope it can do the same for you.<P>Stay strong.<BR>Good thoughts and prayers to you.<BR>

Yes, Thank you for the reply, and it does give me hope. I wrote down the title and author and plan to look for the book. I do think he is in a bubble. When he is forced to deal with real life he tends to get a bit ornery. but, I have turned to the Lord for comfort, guidance, direction and strength and I will make it through this whether it be staying married to my H or not. If it is God's plan that we stay together or split I am prepared to accept his plan. That in itself gives me comfort. <P> I just read this over and it doesn't really sound like me. I guess I am changing and I think I like what I hear and see. Plan A really is about you. I couldn't see that quite so clearly 3 weeks ago, but now that I can, I am going to seriously work on me, now.<P>Wish me luck and pray for me as I pray for all of you out there struggling with the same issues.<P>Darlene