Caribgirl and Torpedoed:<P>Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking an interest in my situation. I loved receiving you insights, made more valuable because I'm hearing from both sexes. I have read both your stories and wish you all the best in your respective situations.<P>I agree that this must be dealt with before we marry, which is in about a year. It has been confusing to me that someone who has exhibited many fine qualities to me has lied about this. Because we were buddies for so many years, I heard ALL the dirt from my guy...and he never mistreated or cheated on any girlfriend prior to me.<BR> Things between us are very good, except for my obsession, pretty cleverly hidden. (by the way, I don't use the word obsession loosely -I think my human snoop-a-thon is ridiculous. I'm stuck with only gut feelings and half-heard conversations. I WANT to stop because it's a waste of my energy, but I'm afraid of missing that ONE piece of evidence I need to table the issue, confront it, and hopefully move on.) <BR>We have been very lucky in that we do most things together. The Harleys articles have been able to confirm my gut feeling that this is the right thing to do. We play volleyball, baseball, participate in charity tournaments, shop, eat, sleep and even bathe together. I have seen a flourishing in him in the two years we have been together. <P>There is one thing I am waiting for before tackling this. He lost his job in Nov. due to downsizing. I think he is close to two offers now, but still unemployed and feeling bored, frustrated helpless and angry. During this time, we have remained very close and he has verbalized these feelings to me. When he feels pride and relief to be working again, I will raise this issue.<P>I know how wrong it is to go through another person's things. Believe me, it makes me ashamed. I've looked in the odd pocket before, but never like this. I know he doesn't suspect me. He asks about even the most subtle changes in my moods. I want to stop, but I want to find something to support my suspicions equally. <P>Anyway, way too rambly, sorry. <BR>Many thanks, this already has helped so much<P> Robyn (Snoopy).<BR>