window I am so sorry for your pain, you are not loosing it, I think your finally dealing with it, and it hurts so so bad. I never thought anyone could hurt me like this and make me act so crazy.<BR>Last night H and I went to get his new truck (with lower payments) we had to drive 2 hours and had some nice talks that seemed honest. He said he really only wanted me and our marriage and everything was going to be better than before. These words were like a narcotic to me, just what I wanted to hear. We came home and made love, afterward I asked him if he had spoken to her he said "no because you told her if I talked to her ypu would tell her family" I had told OW this but not H, so I knew they had talked. I confronted him and he admitted "she" called him over the weekend while I was at work. I called her it was 4 this A.M. I was hoping her husband would answer. She said she hadnt called him. I called him in the room and said "did you call her or did she call you" he was shocked to see the phone in my hand and walked away. Later he confessed they have talked almost everyday. He then alluded that he may commit suicide. When do the lies stop? is it compulsive?<BR>now what to do?<BR>I really know how you feel, I was gagging this morning and I have had no sleep, although he is snoring now.<BR>I suggested counseling, moving,etc. he just shruggs.<BR>I feel a new strategy coming on, and the heck with plan A,<BR>I think he should call her everyday while he lives alone until he can see her as an object that has ruined everything,he said he had the most to loose of all of us because he will loose me and his children, I think I have the most to loose I will have to be there to watch the pain in my childrens faces and also loose my self respect.<BR>I said a prayer for clarity and peace for you yesterday, I think the clarity is coming, I will still ask for some peace for you and me.<BR>deep breath, shaking hands, cant even cry anymore, Im so lost....<BR>Im here if you need someone, you are better than the place your in.<P>------------------<BR>L.

.<p>[This message has been edited by ohmy_marie (edited June 23, 2001).]

oh my marie and all,<BR>thankyou for your concern and encouragement.I have since D-day been feeling like he is the one who broke it and he should be the one to take the initiative to fix it. I was the one online, reading, praying, planning, suggesting, and I was angry.<BR>Finally it sunk in he was in a "fog" and needed led out. I made an appt. to go speak to a preacher and told him to get out of bed and get dressed, that with him or without I was going. He quietly complied. He admitted to the preacher the A, which kind of surprised me, he said he wants it to work, and would work on the honesty.<BR>We spent the whole day together yest. I am feeling hopeful. but the last time I felt really hopeful it all came crashing down worse than before, so I am guarded but seeing some light.<BR>I am so glad someone had a happy recovery I hope I will be able to post there soon.<BR>I am thankful for the encouragement.<P>------------------<BR>L.

I am sorry I haven't replied all weekend. I have been concentrating on being happy and being my H. We have had a very nice weekend. We have been together non stop until about 30 minutes ago. We took the EN test and I agree that it helps. <P>I am so proud of you Sadprincess for calling the OW in the middle of the night. I hope that your H will stop talking with her now. Did talking to the pastor help? We cannot afford counseling, our insurance doesn't cover it, and the church that we attend periodically (my H doesn't like to go very much) is pastored by my H's uncle. I literally feel that we have no hope of getting counseling.<P>I know that everyone's prayers have been helping me. I, too, have been praying for us. Marie was right about God being for marriage. I feel that some of things that occurred were definitely Divine intervention. Today I feel that we will survive. I will take these happy moments when they come. <P>Now I think I will take a nap while I can. I hope you're having a good weekend.<BR>Window<BR>

I have Marie's response taped to bedroom mirror I believe it has helped H and I both, it is refreshing to see this pain can be worth it. THANKYOU <P>------------------<BR>L.