Been 13 days since D-Day, 8 days since the abortion (as a result of the A) and what a 13 days it's been. <P>Suprisingly we've made some terrific headway. W is putting forth tremendous effort and energy to reconcile. The hardest part is the abortion. She is VERY much against it but had to resort to it to save our marriage. I'm ashamed to admit that I tried to sympathize and be there for her during this, but badgered her relentlessly as to why she wasn't showing me how she felt about me! Duh...she was trying (is still trying) to deal w/ the abortion. She has made that clear to me over and over again but still I persist. I can't help it, I feel I need to be shown and told how she feels about ME. While she agrees, I need to back of a bit and let her deal w/ what she went through.<P>Things are getting so much better only because of the 1000% effort and re-commitment to each other. The smallest things mean the most now, spontaneous e-cards, gentle kisses, hand holding, cuddling on the couch and the list goes on.<P>Today is our 11 year wedding anniversary, we are going out and have the house to ourselves (kids at my sisters). We are going to be intimate for the first time since D-Day and I hope I don't "freak out". Immediatly after D-Day, it was hard to eveN look at her naked. I've taken a couple of showers w/ her and been in the room while she changed to try and get over it, it's helped. In fact, since D-Day, I find myself wanting her more as every day passes. Had it not been for the abortion, we would have made love almost immediatly (it's the only reason we've waited this long).<P>Today should be great, I am so looking forward to it. Wish me luck <BR>

hi glad you are having a date to look forward too. hope its everything you expect don't second guess your self over needing affection. she owes you big time. whatever problems she has over abortion she brought on herself and deserves to live with. certainly she has no right to punish you by being so wrapped up in herself and denying you support and affection. you are to be commended for staying and God bless

I agree that she needs to show you affection. I agree that she brought this on herself. I disagree that she should just forget that she lost a child. It wasn't that baby's fault that your W screwed up big time. As men, you might not be able to understand the bond between mother and child. I am not trying to be mean in any way. I mean no disrespect. I just know that every time I was pregnant I felt a very special bond with my baby from the moment I knew I was pregnant. I tried so hard to do everything right to protect my unborn child's life. It is very powerful. If she is against abortion and did it anyway, that is even tougher to deal with. Your W is not only dealing with the death of her child, she is also dealing with going against her beliefs. Remember, I do not condone her A!!! I know how painful that is for you! There is just a lot to deal with in your household right now. It sounds like you both need to show each other a lot of affection right now. God bless you both. I hope you can both heal from your wounds. <P>Window