Deleted...<p>[This message has been edited by LostNco (edited April 14, 2001).]

I am so sorry! I know how painful it is. Others have much better advice than me. I just wanted to say I am sorry. How did you find out? I will pray for you and your H. Take care of yourself. <P>God bless,<BR>Window

Deleted...<p>[This message has been edited by LostNco (edited April 14, 2001).]

It is an unbelievably tough situation. Hang in there! I am still dealing with it after four months. Here's what I found will help: #1 time, #2 self reflection. Try to do things that will make you a better person. #3 Talk. Maybe to a few people that will be your support group. I held my situation in for two months without talking to anyone. No good.<P>Again. Hang in there! Keep your chin up!

All I can say is how sorry I am for your loss. This is almost the greatest tragedy you will ever experience. Hold onto God. I have only been held up by him. Give yourself over to his will, no matter how tragic it may seem. All that matters is how good a person you were/are/will be.<P>It will get better. Numbness will leave you. You will resent him.<P>From now on you set the rules for your life.<P>God bless.

Lost...<BR>I tried to reply to you earlier but I don't see it so here goes. First, you are among people who genuinely know what you are going through. We care about you so much. Please use us any way you want. As for advice... I'm hardly one to give it because I don't do a good job taking it. But, please go see your family doctor as soon as you are able. Your body is indeed in shock. Although I won't take the drugs she prescribed, I have read from others here that they do help.<P>You are not going crazy. It may feel like it but every thing you are feeling and will feel in the coming days, weeeks, months is normal. My Dday was 8 weeks ago and I still had a terrible swing yesterday that left me paralyzed here in my office. Reading your post brings it all back. I wish I had known about this site when I found out. There is much wisdom and experience here.<P>Read, read,read! Don't make the same mistakes I have made about dealing with the WS. There are specific things you can and should do to help both of you. There are things that you can do by yourself if he appears unwilling to give up the A.<P>Look to the Lord for support. I am not a religious person, but I have found strength in God. I listen to Christian music and find peace.<P>Good luck to you. I'll check on you again soon <p>[This message has been edited by breakingslowly (edited April 11, 2001).]

Hang in there is right. I am 2.5 weeks from D-day. It was such a shock after 22 years of marriage. I was so numb and sad all the time. I did go see my doctor a few days after I found out as I couldn't eat, sleep, think or stop crying. I still don't eat or sleep much and that doesn't help the situation. I have lost 20 pounds since finding out. The doctoe gave me a light sedative that helped me calm down. He has also put me on an anti-depressent cause I am also dealing with a major job change in the last few months and a terminal illness of my mother. So of course this was all I needed!! I am still numb and trying to see the light. My H ended his A and told the OW that it was over. He and I are both in counseling both separately and together. I know that time will heal but it is really hard to go through. This is a great support group as the people here have all been through it and know what the feelings are. <P>I have to say I have had some good moments. They are few and far between but they are happening. My H says to focus on the positive. It's hard when he has caused me so much pain. I know we have a long way to go, but I think it will get easier.