My husband of almost 7 years is having a Cyberspace relationship with his old girlfriend who is also married. They send ecards and messages back and forth to each other. I found out about this one week ago, during a lengthy conversation with him. I felt that something was going on but was not sure what, had that feeling in the pit of my stomach. Our marriage had been great up to a year ago, that is when we lost our son to SIDS, I having been grieving so much that I believe that instead of turning to him for comfort, I pushed him away. He told me in our conversation that the only thing that has kept him coming home for the past year is our son. Had it not been for him, he would have been gone. I love this man very much, but have now come to believe that he is a compulsive liar. He also stated to me that I have a hard time trusting him. Really,,,,no kidding, the only reason that I would mistrust someone is because something is telling me not to trust. I am so confused and unsure of myself. I want to trust him but how do I know, do I take him at his word? He told me that since our conversation last week he has had no contact with "her" at all and would let me know if he gets any further emails from her. After our conversation he emailed her and told her that he was going to try and make his marriage work and would have no contact with her anymore. Do I trust that? I have started counceling at his request to work on my grief issues. I have also told him that the rest of the issues such as the mistrust will come in time and I will not be able to change over night. He also has agreed to start marriage counceling with me. But I am unable to start all of these things at once. I feel as if I am being pulled in a hundred directions at the same time and am not doing anyone of them justice. If anyone out there can help me I would appreciate the input.

Welcome <B>unable to trust</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>Trust will come in time.<P>I would hope your "counseling" follows the MB concepts you read about after looking at the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>Welcome</A> post.<P>If you get a chance, read the book <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank> "Surviving An Affair"(SAA)</A>...<BR>...and you'll understand the need for a "no contact" letter from your H to the OW...<BR>...one where <B>you</B> get to review the letter before it is sent... so your healing can procede as well.<P>Check out these other sites... maybe even share them with your H...<BR><A HREF="http://www.wildxangel.com/" TARGET=_blank>What They're Not Telling You - Or How to Read Between the Lies!!</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.chatcheaters.com" TARGET=_blank>Internet Infidelity Prevention, Detection, Advice and Books</A><BR><A HREF="http://netaddiction.com/" TARGET=_blank>Center for On-Line Addiction</A><BR><A HREF="http://temagami.uwaterloo.ca/~petz/affair.html" TARGET=_blank>Affairs of the Internet</A><P>You are <B>not</B> alone.<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

It sounds as though you have already taken positive and necessary steps to start rebuilding your marriage. I have never lost a child and I'm sorry for what you must be going through.<P>As you start to work with your counselor and explore the marriage builders concepts, I believe the trust and faith in your husband can return. <P>You are not alone, but you have found a wonderful resource and support community to help you through. <P>I just read a wonderful post by OneDay on the In Recovery board that may be useful as you begin your journey to recovery and healing...<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/002839.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/002839.html</A> <P>I wish you continued healing and prayers!<P> <BR><P>------------------<BR><B><I>RECOVER * REFOCUS * REGENERATE ~ BREATHE * RELAX</I></B><P>By Eleanor Roosevelt ~~<BR><UL TYPE=SQUARE><BR><LI>"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." <P><LI>"No one takes advantage of you without your permission."<BR></UL>