Ok, found out about wife's affair3 weeks ago. She says it was strictly 'casue other guy was more attractive. Bear with me, this will get strange before through!<BR>I love her a lot, and even before (during!) affair, I was always giving her a lot of love and deposits in the bank. I lot of it has to do with more than just love - I was very socially inept, shy, etc., and overweight, bad dresser, etc., before marrying her. Couldn't talk to women, no dating, no confidence. I stayed with her as a friend while she was out dating lots of guys and having a good early 20's...eventually she decided that all these guys were self-centered jerks and then she "realized" I was always there and that's when we got married. She was my first real girlfriend too. Although I proposed, she actually asked me to (indirectly) but I was all too happy to. and, I was a good husband - so she says anyway, and I think so.<P>Several weeks before dday i finally decided to do something about the weight. SO now, even 3 weeks afterwords, I'm making good progress - not a 5 to a 10, but enough so I can see if I keep this up for a few months, my looks will improve quite a bit. Couple this with now after years of marriage, some personal therapy, and a successful career (and now moving into another career which is looking good to) I've gotten over most of my social inhibitions, shyness, and lack of confidence.<P>So now here we are. I love her so much...and I know that Plan A is where to start. But I'm being torn because now I can see that (to a certain degree) I've been taken for granted (she says she has) - that she always assumed that I'd be there, because - this is painful - I was either to wimpy, unconfident, or incapable of getting anyone else.<P>Now I don't feel this way anymore. If she had never had the A it wouldn't have mattered. But now I drive around, and meet people in regular day-to-day activities, and wonder whether I *should* be out taking advantage of this freedom and so forth.<P>Ok, ok, I know this is all emotional but it's an odd situation for me. I've always had poor self-esteem - but in a wierd way, this A has almost knocked it out of me, and now part of me wants to take advantage of this awakening.<P>I know it's not good feeling like this. Any suggestions as to how to deal with this?<P>Ernie<BR><P>------------------<BR>
