THis is the second time I have posted this today, the first one disappeared.<P> My H came to me last night and told me that he does not believe there is a GOd never has never will! He says the bible is a book of fiction no different than a Stephan King novel.<BR> I was raised in a christian home (parents both ministers) and he was raised in a NOn practicing Roman Chatholic home. So I can see where this is very hard for him. <BR> Up until recently I had not gone to church for many years. But since his EMA was reaveled I have completly re-dedicated my life. <BR> I feel sincerly that our marriage will not make it without GOd. As of a few days ago I gave it all to GOd. I realized nothing I was doing was working and I had to just give it to the Lord and trust him. <BR> So my ? is how can any of this be worked out if he does not even believe there is a GOd????????????????????????<BR> He is so withdrawn and cold. He has gone to trying so hard to doing nothing at all. <BR>I am just so confused on what to do next?? I just feel like I forgave his EMA and now he just keeps getting worse and worse. ANd again I am the miserable one. How can I keep accepting all these things. <BR> Has anyone here had a spouse that was a complete unbeliever? And how do you approach that?????? <BR> SOrry for adding so many ? in, but thank you all for your reply's<P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>

*SecretuvmyStrength* -- I may be way out in left field here, but one possibility comes to mind . . . <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>As of a few days ago I gave it all to GOd. I realized nothing I was doing was working and I had to just give it to the Lord and trust him.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>If your H realizes this, his comments may simply be a way to get you to stop fighting for your marriage.<P>Just a thought.<P>God Bless <BR>

Please see topic:5:31pm by hangingbyathread on last page. I was writing when we lost your message.<P>------------------<BR>Hanging on by a Thread

Empty Shell:<BR> Thank you for your post> <BR>Yes he does know that I have given our marriage to the Lord. ANd I agree with you, I feel that he is doing everything in his power to get me to leave. He is hardley ever nice (rather mean at times) and shows little love. <BR>He is the one who begged for me back so that makes all this so odd. I just don't get it. If he really wants me to leave, WHY? and should I keep trying if this is really what he wants????<P><BR>Hanging by a thread:<BR> Thank you for your post.<BR>Your mother sounds like and icreadible person. I was told just recently told that the best example to him is walking the walk. SO I guess that is all I can do. Was your step dad a complete unbeliever?????<P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>

Empty Shell:<BR> Thank you for your post> <BR>Yes he does know that I have given our marriage to the Lord. ANd I agree with you, I feel that he is doing everything in his power to get me to leave. He is hardley ever nice (rather mean at times) and shows little love. <BR>He is the one who begged for me back so that makes all this so odd. I just don't get it. If he really wants me to leave, WHY? and should I keep trying if this is really what he wants????<P><BR>Hanging by a thread:<BR> Thank you for your post.<BR>Your mother sounds like and icreadible person. I was told just recently told that the best example to him is walking the walk. SO I guess that is all I can do. Was your step dad a complete unbeliever?????<P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>

He was a complete unbeliever at the time, but he ahd been raised Methodist. I'm not real familiar with the Methodists, but I gather they have the same basic beliefs as any other Christian.<BR>I really wish you the best and I will pray a special prayer for you.<P>------------------<BR>Hanging on by a Thread

hanging by thread. not to change subject too much but I read your profile and saw that you are in phoenix. H just got a job right outside of there, do you like it????? <P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>

Is the OW still around?<P>If so... your H is most likely still actively persuing the affar... if not... you can best handle it with a firm <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>.<P>It's hard to do... and requires alot of patience... and peristance.<P>Praying constantly will get you though this... I has helped me so much... <P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------<BR>Where two or more are gathered...

HI NSR,<BR> Thank you for responding. I honestly do not believe the OW is still in the picture. H said he broke it off before we got back together and a recent phone conversation with OW she said the same.<BR> Maybe there is someone new, who knows though. <P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>

I know where youb are coming from. My husband was a strong believer at one time, started really questioning his faith for the last 2 years and now says he no longer believes there is a God.<BR>I wish I could offer you some advice. Have you checked out the women's bible study? You will find the forum near the bottom of the forums summary page. We are currently reading "The Power Of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartion. Check it out if you haven't yet.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<P><BR>

Don't know if you got my post before it disappeared yesterday? My husband was very cruel while his affair was going on,( and I still didn't know about it)really emotionally abusive at times. He too (a Christian all his life) started up with this attitude of " I don't know if I believe in God anymore" God just wasn't convenient at the time. It's hard to lie,cheat and deceive and confess a belief in God. My H now says that he was so cruel so that I would leave or ask him too. He couldn't cope if he had to be the one to leave. He was very affected by wondering what everyone would think of him as a man who left his family. He says he unconsciously hoped I would tell him to get out so he wouldn't be looked at as the bad guy. He could then have a clear conscience and tell everyone "well, she made me leave".

Patient Love: Thank you for your response.<BR>I could not find the womens bible study your talking about. WHERE IS IT??????<P>MTHRRHBARD: THank you for your response. <BR>I do believe that he is doing what your H did. My only question is does that mean he really does not want to be married????? <BR>MY H can also be abusive at times and I have a real hard time trying to discern how much I am supposed to stay through?<BR>DID you say you and H are ok now????<P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>

hi SecretuvmyStrength*,<BR> I think ALL the betrayers have an "Non-beleiving attiutde. They HAVE to or live with the "moral" ramafications of what they did/are doing. <BR> My SIL & BIL were married for 25 years She a Christian BIL NOT!! SIL had an EA and her H was BRUTAL when he found out. It was an UGLY D. They are RE-MARRIED now!!! And my BIL IS A CHRISTIAN!!! Praise God!! He became one BEFORE they reunited!! God drove him to his knees!!<P> My W was BROUGHT up in the Church. We went for the first 12 years of our Marriage. The last 2 1/2 we didn't for "Stupid" reasons.<BR> Satan began his work and chipped away. Now I AM BACK and W still won't go. <BR> I leave her a message EVERY Saturday night inviting her to join me for services Sunday morning. When I ask in person, W say's "What did God ever do for me" <BR> She always crys and says she's lost. BUT she won't go back to church. I know she will someday. OR MOVE back with me. She says she's afraid to go back to the "same thing" <BR> And this MAY be God's way of FINALLY saving your H! PRAY for that I will!! FRANK

Hi Please help. Thank you for your reply.<BR> I agree with you about God trying to get h attention. I have been told this before that because of him being so hardened that it would take allot to bring him to his knees. The only thing that bothers me is he has never been a believer.<BR> Right now he seems to b e in this really dark place. I have never seen him like this before. Maybe it has all just become too much for him, who knows.<P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>

Secret,<P> I hope this comes up I am having problems navigating MB tonight. To find the women's bible study go to the list of all the different forms(hit marriage builder's forums at he top of the page). Scroll down about 3/4 of the way down. You will see it under "study groups".<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<P><BR>

He thought he didn't want to be married. We did separate for 2 months but he was here more than he was away. He went to counseling ,took antidepressants and did strict no contact and moved back in today!!!!<BR>We are going to counseling together now and he says he's comitted for life and is very remorseful and affectionate. He's getting much better at expressing his feelings. There is hope! Don't give up. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to be married. He's just wounded right now and that is where the anger is coming from. Be nice to him :-( It's so hard sometimes. Give him time and and lots of love. Hopefully he'll crack !

mthrrbard:<BR> Thank you for your encouraging words. I will keep you and your h in my prayers. And lets just pray my H does crack soon. I am feeling restless. Thanks again<P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>

SMS,<BR> The dark place is H not being in God's light. He will see that SOON I think. My W is in the same place. Dark. Lost. <BR> It's always darkest.....<BR> He will find his lost sheep. I was one, I know!! FRANK

Hello Secret,<P>I agree somewhat with the posts here that imply that your H may be turning away from his belief in God in response to his growing need to compensate mentally for the new path he's chosen in his life. But I say "Agree somewhat" because I also know that one need not subcribe to a belief in God or religion in order to have strong morals. Vice versa, one may have a strong unwavering faith, but is still subject to moral wrongdoing. It's called being human.<P>Even without knowing your H, I have the impression that he is experiencing a significant identity crisis - one which I believe MOST betrayers endure. You don't know who you are anymore, and neither does your spouse or some of your friends. I compare it with some of the mental changes one experiences while going thru basic training (NOT to be confused with the new "stress free" basic training ) - you are required to develop a personality conducive to that environment in order to thrive in that lifestyle of being a soldier. Then you go home. And the real you begins to come back. <P>Unfortunately and obviously, EMAs are NOT the kind of changes that are good or acceptable to go thru. But while you are in one, you are lost, lost lost. The good news is that when, hopefully, your H finds the strength to come back to the real world, that he will be repulsed by his former behavior, as well as his lover. It will not happen overnight, and it will be anything but easy. <P>Your H may very well need his faith back to begin working on the marriage. But even if his faith has changed forever, that does not mean he cannot or will not make changes for the better to save the marriage. I speak from personal experience. <BR> <BR>Best hopes and wishes being sent your way,<BR>Khyra <p>[This message has been edited by Khyra (edited December 12, 1999).]

SecretuvmyStrength,<BR>Satan wants you to be discouraged so that you can be blindly guided down the primrose path to destruction. He, Satan, attacks you because he knows that you have put your trust in God to heal your marriage if it is His will. Rest assured that you will have the victory because Jesus got the victory about 2000 years ago.<P>Keep putting your trust in God and you will be victorious. Your pain will still be there. I wish I could tell you that it will go away soon but I can't. I have endured 8 affirs in the last 6 years of our marriage. She has stopped wearing her wedding ring and she stayed out all night last night and didn't come home until 7:50 Saturday morning.<P>However, I go where there is always comfort: God. He is always there when no one else is.<P>Your H is saying things to frustrate you because he doesn't know any better. If he truly doesn't believe then the Bible says he will have eternity to regret that decision. <P>MONDO HUG!!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>