I've been married for 21 years, recently I found out that my wife went to lunch with a friend of ours without telling me. (Prior to this incident, my wife was seen with the same man at a restaurant<BR>and it was reported to his wife. At that time, my wife came to me and told me that they were just friends having lunch.)<BR>But prior to that I began noticing that he seem to be showing up everywhere she went. Also, I noticed that when he is around her he is always getting close to her and touching her. Not only did his behavior seem obssesive and unusal to me, but my 21 year daughter noticed it too and so have alot other people. She also found out that this man just happen to show up at a pizza parlor my wife was at. Furthermore, I was told by my niece that she stopped by my house one Monday morning and his truck was here, she said that she open the door and yelled for someone and my wife and he walked out of my bedroom. Should I ask my wife about these incidents or should I try to catch her in the act?<BR>I'm desperate -- my 21st anniversary is the 10th. <P>

Welcome <B>21</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>Learn all you can from these sites...<BR>...and the day will come (shortly)...<BR>...where you need to approach her... in "honesty"....<BR>...and express you're feelings!<P>Do check out my replies to <B>tere38</B>... at <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000779.html" TARGET=_blank>What Now!</A>.<BR>You and she are at near identical stages!<P>You're not alone!<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

I do not see the point in trying to catch them in the act since from your message it seems pretty clear what is going on. You could hire a private investigator but what is the point. I would contact his wife again and tell her what your niece saw and told you. I would sit down with your wife and talk seriously about the ramifications of her actions. I would also immediately get into marriage counseling as soon as possible.