My wife and myself have been having problems since her second pregnancy. As of about 3 weeks ago we seperated and she now lives with her mother. Our relationship has become very strained due to her late hours at work. However, she also has a medical condition (thyroid problem)that causes her many problems. Simply put my wife has been staying out at all hours of the night after work and not phoning to tell me she will be okay or that she is staying out. I just wanted some courtesy but maybe I ask too much. Anyhow, last night I saw a phone number that has been on our caller id before so I decided to call and boy was I surprised. It seems as though I reached a young lady who says that my wife has been seeing her husband for quite some time. My problem is this. We are supposed to go to counseling after I get off work but I will see her for quite some time before our actual appointment. Should I confront her before counseling or when we are actually in session. Either way I know she will completely explode. I just don't want her to feel that I have traped her at counseling. Please someone help me.

Now Coco, Now! you don't want to ambush her like she did you. You sound very calm which indicates to me that you are in shock and still have not made sense of this. Let her explode all she wants, you need to get the facts srait to decide if you need to work on the marriage or terminate it. Make sure you have all the proof you need. She'll probably try to blow you some screen by telling you you're crazy and paranoid. Get more facts from this other woman you talk about. <P>You also need to deal with your anger with your therapist. Hang in there, there is turbulence approaching the skies.

Thanks alot but it is too late. I told her yesterday the information I had and she denied it. We spent about an hour trying to figure out who had "framed" her. We finally came to a conclusion and decided to start dating again. Well, she left to go to a funeral and came to my house at 6:09 this morning, Drunk, and told me that it was all true except the sex part and she had known this guy for about two weeks, yeah right. I can't believe anything she says!! But she told me she does not want to make it work and she wants a divorce and there will be no more counseling. So, I guess its over. I am just numb, hurt, angry and most of all feel alone.... Oh well I am rambling. I wish everyone else on this board luck in their relationships.

Welcome <B>coco_2927</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>It's not over until, <B>you</B> want it to be over...<BR>...and I think you don't want it over.<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>And read up on all you can starting at the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>Welcome Post</A>.<P>No matter what the final resolution...<BR>...MB offers you a path to mental and emotional recovery!<P>You are not alone!<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

Coco, you still need to take care of yourself. Right now she doesn't know what the hell she is doing. The fact that she wants to leave tells me that she is still in this affair and does not want to give it up. Read the posts that NSR posted for you. Also get the books from <A HREF="http://www.Amazon.com" TARGET=_blank>www.Amazon.com</A> "torn asunder" and "After An Affair"<P>Also, for a faster response on your post and for a great bunch of people that can help you, you might want to post your situation on the following forum:<BR> <A HREF="http://members3.boardhost.com/affair/" TARGET=_blank>http://members3.boardhost.com/affair/</A> <P>Marriage builders has the greatest articles but this other site I recommended is like a family environment. You'll see what I mean.. Don't forget to eat well-as best you can but eat and try getting some rest. Take yourself out to the movies.