It's 8 days since I found out and 5 since he ended the other relationship. I am so grateful that he decided to stay and try to save our marriage. I am also extremely grateful that he realized he had to end the other relationship. But what do I do while he's "getting over" her? He tells me that what he misses the most is her friendship. I do appreciate his honesty, but I also have to bite my tongue to keep from screaming "maybe you should have thought about that before you crossed the line!!!"<P>Anyway, I'm hurt, I'm scared and don't know what to say, how to act, what to do. This absolutely SUCKS!!!<P>Any insights would be appreciated.

Dear Zila:<P>Welcome. Have you thoroughly read all the information on this site? Please do so. NSR has a link to connect you. he greets all the Newbies. <P>That your H is telling you he misses the other woman is good, I think, because he is opening up to you. Keep the lines of communication open. It's going to be painful for awhile, but since he is repentant and wants to keep your marriage, your chances are much better than a spouse who denies or tries to justify their affair.<P>Suggestion: While the crisis is still fresh, get counseling from the Harleys. Urge your H to come to this site, post, and ask for help from others here. It is a wonderful support system, confidential and discrete (we only reveal as much about ourselves as we feel safe doing) and rather than skinning the wayward spouse alive and dipping him in salt, the folks here are helpful and compassionate. <P>You can recover and rebuild a better marriage if you use this crisis as your golden opportunity. Good luck!<P><P>------------------<BR>Looney Belle aias Bellevue

Welcome <B>Zila</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>As part of starting Plan A...<BR>...see if you can't plan more time to be with him doing "fun" stuff...<BR>...to replace his bad feelings with the new "good" feelings designed to meet those ENs!<P>You're not alone!<BR>You're in the early stages of recovery...<BR>Do cinsider posting on the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number=31&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>In recovery</A> forum.... they've been there and know about the early mistakes you want to avoid!<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A><BR>