It has been almost a month since DDay. H says the A is over, but sometimes I really wonder?! Not sure if this is my mind telling me this or what. We started counseling on Wed. I thought it went good (well as good as marriage counseling can go) and she seems like a good Dr. I just have this fear that H is going to say he tried and he won't really try. I know that I can not make choices for him and he will need to live with that (if in fact he is doing that) for the rest of his life. I find myself wanting to hurry thru all of this, to get back our friendship and loving marriage. I know that won't happen. I suppose I just needed to vent (again) although if ANYONE has any encouraging words, I welcome them. If I could only find peace with all of this, so that I would not feel down all the time. Why on earth does this seem to consume me so???

Can't say I have encouraging words, but I can empathize with you on wanting to hurry through it all and get back the friendship/loving marriage. I miss my husband!!<P>It's only been 8 days since D-day for me. A constant thought right now is "Can we really get through this?" I guess that doubt is fed by the fact that I had a 2 night stand on a business trip 3 years ago. I realize now that we didn't work through it then - I think we worked around it.<P>I've been talking to God a lot and that has been helping. Would probably be good if I spent some more time reading His Word, too.<P>I'll be praying for you : )

Dear Zila~<P>I ask myself everyday if we can get through this too. I know I need to back off a bit and see what direction counseling takes us. Yes, keep your faith. I will say a few prayers for you too. Thank you for your reply.

Feelingalone, It is very normal to feel all you are feeling right now. Find a way to be good to yourself. Walking with music/headphones on was good for me, was a nice distraction. See the value in you,as a person. <BR>Don't hurry through anything. Don't lay a shoddy foundation to recovery that will never support what comes later. I have found what we don't face now, will need to be faced later. Take baby steps and finish each one. Be nice to you and the most understanding you can to him. Bless you both. .D.<P>

Dear D<P>Thank you for your kind words. Everyday is a different day. Sometimes I feel good and sometimes I think I can not do another day of this. I have been walking and jogging. My little girl is my strength as well. <P>I just hope when all is said and done that we will be in a loving marriage again. Hard to understand why we have to go through so much pain to have happiness again?! Be well.

<B>Feelingalone</B>,<P>Concentrate your efforts on Plan A...<BR>...a little bit of learning the "art" of Plan A everyday!<P>Check out...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>...<P>...and learn... that through self-sacrifice...<BR>...you can be a better you...<BR>...take the focus off of the slow progress of your H...<BR>...and rediscover you have another relationshp to work on... (your faith driven relationship)<P>In those moments of being tired/anry/confused...<BR>...check out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000554.html" TARGET=_blank>Notable Posts/Threads</A> post...<BR>...and a series I started, and work on every now and then... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000140.html" TARGET=_blank>Inspiration</A>.<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

Dear Jim~<P>Once again you are an inspiration ... thank you for your post.<P>Feelingalone