Its been a while since I posted last... I think the morning after Thanksgiving... I asked how everyones day went.... <P>The day after Thanksgiving was an interesting one for me, as H desided to come home... said I was his choice and that he was sorry it took him so long to finally decide...<P>Well its 2 fridays ago that this happened and other than 1 bad night this week, when H told me that he'd had brief contact to tell her where he was.. (I reacted BADLY to this) and that It was because he doesn't want her to worry and because of OC she should know where he is... OK<P>now, I told him that at this point I want any and ALL contact to go through me... Is this possible???? I have had contact with OW before, and we have been civil, but I know she is not done fighting... SO hmmmmmmm?<P>I know that eventually things will have to give, and I will need alot of prayer to maintain a cordial relationship with a woman who tryed to ruin my family and marriage because of my H's only son.... <P>Anyone been here before???? How do you do this with style and grace and even more so, Christ's love... <P>He said love unconditionally and I end up with a unfaithful husband...<P>He said love your enemies and then gives me a test like this.....<P>How come it cant be EASY????? UGH<P>cozy

Hi, Cozy. I'm convinced nothing is ever easy anymore.<P>but congrats on the fact that he is home. <P>If you think you can handle it, by all means try to be the contact. If he's not crazy about the idea, then maybe see if all contact can be made when the two of you are together. That might keep away a little resentment.<P>Good luck to you. You'll be in my prayers.<P>Lori

Thanks Lostva.... I have told him that I have to be involved with any contact, but I used it in terms of eventual visitation with the OC.... I guess its time for me to broaden that to ALL contact... <P>cozy

used2,<P>You have to do what works for your situation. For our situation (also a child, age 1), we only have contact by mail or email, and all of those are done by the two of us together, or, in the case of some email, signed by H only but viewed and discussed with me. NOTHING goes from H to former OW without me seeing it before it is sent or sealed, and contact is VERY minimal at this point, to the point where even I feel a little rude (ex: not acknowledging pictures or address change). In our case the former OW cannot understand why H can't be a "friend", muchless why we need to limit contact, and no WAY would anything get accomplished by my being the go-between at the point, since she and I were once friends--major anamosity! Every situation is different.<P>Best wishes!<BR>