I feel so taken advantage of. I just dont understand this. There have been at least 3 times in the course of our marriage that I have been approached by other women. No matter how bad our marriage was (and it was not that bad) I could never live with that kind of deception. Although I was tempted. I knew as soon as I did it, the guilt and shame would overpower me and I would not be able to live with it. I dont understand how she can. What kills me are her complaints in our marriage: Lost money in stock market(still have plenty and it was my inheritance to begin with) not keeping on top of my chores like garbage, recycles etc. Buying a motorcycle instead of being practical and giving her a new kitchen, caring more about my job and money than her and the kids. Not being joint in things. I bought the house before we married and nevr put her name on it. Also land my grandmother gave me money to buy does not have her name on it. <P>If I could, I would do things over differently. I dont think problems like this are reasons to end a marriage. I sold the bike....we have money for a new kitchen. I stopped working so much. I come home and LISTEN to her. I participate with the kids school and activities. I clean up after myself. I empty trash and recycles without her haveing to mention it. I do my own laundry. etc etc<P>Her parents think I have done WAY to much for their daughter and I enable her to behave this way. My wifes sister's husband tells me I should just throw her out. I mean how do you "throw" someone out?? Its not that easy.<P>HELP!!!!!!!

wcm -<P>You should read your other thread - about what should you do - you are in some deep pain right now - "FOG" for you "what happened" - "fog" for her - your W is in the middle - this is really tearing everything up. We have advised you: NUMBER 1 - immediately obtain Dr. Harley's book "Surviving an Affair" - this will help your pain, and your fog some what. Do not attempt to make any long term decisions at this time. Your W needs to come around, and you need to come around, because you are saying "I bought the motorcycle... and so on" - you will soon learn these are (called) unmet needs. You will learn about emotional needs. You need to start identifying your emotional needs (ENs). I will clue you - it has been said it takes 2-3 years to recover. You will eventually come to solutions (yours and your Ws).<P>PLEASE start READING Surviving an Affair (SAA) - it will help you with all you are panicing about.<P>We all had the same things happen. My H lied to me last year, and told me nothing was going on - then I caught him red-handed (now I am starting to pound inside) on AOL Instant Messenger saying my love words I use to say to him 14 years ago - a "family friend" - think - she had just been in my house a week before - going on walks with my H with our dogs and my H never asked me to go on the walks. I could go on and on - and work myself up into a frenzy - I would love to beat on her - hope in my lifetime I never see her again - because I will not keep my mouth shut - <P>We all had our "OH MY GOD's", our anger, our disbelief, our pain, our emotional craziness. My H had never shown much anger in our marriage until last year - and then he went through withdrawal - I know what was happening now - but it took me 10 or so months after our D-day to discover this website - that was only after I contacted Minirth/Meyers & then Harley sent me an e-mail - then it took another month for me to look at MB - so you are here much faster.<P>Start reading Surviving an Affair, and start working on the principles. Your decisions will come later - after your emotional phase so that they can be made correctly. I know you are in the "oh my god" phase.<BR>You are in pain, and that is a fact at this time - just take everything one day at a time. If you show your W love, and follow MB principles, if you want your marriage to survive, things will start to fall into place. aftershock