<BR>I have a question for you. Since you were the one involved in the A......how would you feel if the OM's wife called you to ask you some questions and to verify that there is no contact? Just looking for the feelings of the OW and how she would respond. Also....H wrote "no contact" LETTER. What's your opinion. Some have said send it Certified/Registered to her husband and others have said for me to call OW and set up a meeting time and hand deliver it so I can watch her read it.<P>YOUR REPONSE WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.<P>THANKS<P>SHOCKER17

Shocker17, this is hard for me to answer since OM was single. Never married. I did know (he denied always) that he had at least one other girl on the line and it took everything within me not to e-mail her to rat him out. (We never met but she knew we were friends and OM left her address on history on my puter.)<P>I hope others who have gone through this will come and answer as my situation is so different.<P>I emailed to tell OM it was over, then next morning to tell him I would confess. Then I called the front desk of the hostel he lived at and nervously left a message for him that H forgave me, I was OK (as if he gave a crap!) and there should be no contact. He respected (or feared perhaps) especially with the additional re-inforcement of my H's email following me confession. H told him he would kill him with his bare hands if he dared approached any of us ever.<P>I battled with sending No contact letter. I wanted to. A wise friend from here showed me how I could write it so it was clear things were over and no "special" feelings showed but also no disrespectful things.<P>H forbid me to do it(I immediately made the phone call before he told me this) <P>In my case it worked out best for me not to write. But I don't think that's normal.<P>For OW to call me, if there had been one, (well, there was), I don't know. I know I feel sick to my stomach even thinking of it. Maybe I can think that one over for a bit.<P>My first hunch is let H mail it. The situation could be too volatile and OW could set you up for humiliation, great pain...that is there already, I know but I just think it's not safe or wise. That is only my opinion.<P>I hope I am reading your questions right. Please let me know if I have or not. Not sure how much time I'll get online this weekend but should be back by Mon or Tuesday and likely will find some time before that.<P>Others will respond to you, too. <P>------------------<BR>Fresh Start