Disovered OM last Sunday, For details please read my post on Plan A Plan B, I'm here because I can sleep, eat or function. Currently on anti-depressant and anti-anxiety. I'm working on plan A but can't stand the pain. <BR>

JK...<P>Is your W in an apartment?...<BR>Who is paying for it?... whose name is on the lease?...<P>If at all possible...<BR>...try to move back...<BR>...even if she doesn't "like" it.<P>The only way she can stop that...<BR>...is if there has been some form of legally documented abuse.<P>Is custody of the kids an issue too???<P> <P>Jim

NSR, You are great, all over these boards, thanks a million She is renting a house, lease in her name. How could I move in to her house? Sorry, Gotta go for a while, back in a few hours.<P>JK<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>JK...<P>Is your W in an apartment?...<BR>Who is paying for it?... whose name is on the lease?...<P>If at all possible...<BR>...try to move back...<BR>...even if she doesn't "like" it.<P>The only way she can stop that...<BR>...is if there has been some form of legally documented abuse.<P>Is custody of the kids an issue too???<P> <P>Jim</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

JK...<P>Since it is in her name you can't...<P>Are you paying for this lease?...<BR>If so... break the lease... and show her the real world...<BR>...a less expensive life-style, especially with your "new" job is in order.<P>Again...<BR>...if custody is going to be a issue...<BR>...you need to work on that now!<BR>...legal help may be needed.<P>I too will be gone for a while.<P>Prayers.<P> <P>Jim

NSR,<P>In Florida we have seperate maintanintce, althoutgh neither one of us has filed for it, I give her a bit more than is required, do no I'm not directly paying for hte lease.Custody is not an issue, Tuesday and Thursday and every other weekend. she say the kids have only met the OM in a group and i believe her, the kids are the most important thing to her. She actually said the OM is on thiin ice every day because of the kids. Apparently he is really pursuing her. Which is good because she'll get annoyed and back off. She really dos'nt have much spare time ofr him, so his needs won't be met, and we all know what happens then. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>JK...<P>Since it is in her name you can't...<P>Are you paying for this lease?...<BR>If so... break the lease... and show her the real world...<BR>...a less expensive life-style, especially with your "new" job is in order.<P>Again...<BR>...if custody is going to be a issue...<BR>...you need to work on that now!<BR>...legal help may be needed.<P>I too will be gone for a while.<P>Prayers.<P> <P>Jim</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

You've set up your life as a 'divorced life'...<P>Try and change it...<BR>...<B>you are married</B>!<P>Have conversations that you should be back together.<P>And of course... learn and practice Plan A...<BR>...to the hilt!!<P>My prayers.<P> <P>Jim

NSR,<P>I did'nt set it up this way, She did, am I not supposed to give her $$$$? I try and do everything as a family. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>You've set up your life as a 'divorced life'...<P>Try and change it...<BR>...you are married</B>!<P>Have conversations that you should be back together.<P>And of course... learn and practice Plan A...<BR>...to the hilt!!<P>My prayers.<P> <P>Jim<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

No...<BR>...you have to give her money...<BR>...she's your W and she's taking care of you kid!<P>...but work out a plan where you can move back together...<BR>...especially before the separation becomes too <B>natural</B> for her.<P> <P>Jim

NSR, Any Ideas for a plan? She won't look at MB, although she did speak to Steve once and committed to complete the LB and EN questionair's, has yet to do so. Im working on me and concentrating on not LB's and treatingher like a queen, I think its paying offf some as she flirted with me today. <P>JK<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>No...<BR>...you have to give her money...<BR>...she's your W and she's taking care of you kid!<P>...but work out a plan where you can move back together...<BR>...especially before the separation becomes too natural</B> for her.<P> <P>Jim<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

JK,<P>I'm not a counselor...<BR>...and I would recommend you bring thisup with your counselor...<P>Write a warm loving letter...<BR>...with a plan (within one-two weeks)...<BR>...to move back together.<P>Yes bring up the unity of your family...<P>But don't beg, or plead!<P> <P>Jim

NSR, Again thanks, I will tomorrow in the AM. I'm just getting her to agree to do family things together, I don't want to push and she is very sensitive to that. I have been told by the Mother-in-law that this guy is not big deal just let it run its course and don't push as she is waiting to see changes in me.<P>JK<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>JK,<P>I'm not a counselor...<BR>...and I would recommend you bring thisup with your counselor...<P>Write a warm loving letter...<BR>...with a plan (within one-two weeks)...<BR>...to move back together.<P>Yes bring up the unity of your family...<P>But don't beg, or plead!<P> <P>Jim</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Only you can judge...<BR>...if she "sees" the changes in you.<P>Your right in NOT moving back together...<BR>...if there are too many LBs... or you have no way of meeting the ENs!<P>Prayers...<P> <P>Jim

NSR, Again thanks for communicating, you are a great help! I think (hope) she is beginning to see the changes, I think guilt follows next? No more LB's coming from me!!! I'm workingon the EN''s but need help from Steve H., She has yet to complete the EN ?? for him, and he has not asked me to do it from her prespective yet, i assume thats coming soon. Also, everyone tells me to patient, which in counter intutitive for me.<BR>JK<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>Only you can judge...<BR>...if she "sees" the changes in you.<P>Your right in NOT moving back together...<BR>...if there are too many LBs... or you have no way of meeting the ENs!<P>Prayers...<P> <P>Jim</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

NSR,<BR>Steve says I'm about 2 weeks from the letter, maybe 3 depending on how things go.<P>JK<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by JK:<BR><B>NSR, Again thanks for communicating, you are a great help! I think (hope) she is beginning to see the changes, I think guilt follows next? No more LB's coming from me!!! I'm workingon the EN''s but need help from Steve H., She has yet to complete the EN ?? for him, and he has not asked me to do it from her prespective yet, i assume thats coming soon. Also, everyone tells me to patient, which in counter intutitive for me.<BR>JK<P> </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>