Thanks for all the help I believe we are starting to succeed in Plan A<P>Ronsl<p>[This message has been edited by Ronsl (edited June 04, 2001).]

Welcome <B>Ronsl</B>...<P>*** This is a reply to both your posts ***<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<BR>This is the first and most important thing to do!!!<P><B>Should I get a PI to confirm that she isn't seeing him?</B>...<BR>NO... it is a waste of money... the Affair is on...<BR>...you have nothing to prove.<P><B>Am I being obsessive?</B>...<BR>Yes... but it's natural...<BR>...try your best to not let it eat you up...<BR>...by working on (and do alot of reading)... Plan A!<P><B>She tells me it was only a kiss and that I did nothing to cause this but I just have to believe that had I been doing something then she wouldn't have seeked him. Did I not do anything?</B>...<BR>There is always some small contribution by the Faithful Spouse... but ofetn... it is overstated.. and exaggerated...<BR>Read <LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0393307077" TARGET=_blank><B>Private Lies :</B> Infidelity and Betrayal of Intimacy</A> by Frank Pittman...<BR>...you'll get true focus of "responsibility" in that book.<P><B>Should I confront him?</B>...<BR>No... There are too many reason why this is not the right route to take!<P><B>Should I tell his wife?</B>...<BR>This is truely a personal decision on your part...<BR>...most of the 'moralists" on the forum (myself included) would say yes... realizing that this will usually be considered a Love Buster by your W...<BR>...but not one that is an ultimate in damaging a relationship.<P>Initially, it will be hard to have the open and honest discussions you need to have with your wife.<P>Learn as much about marriage building/restoration as you can... by starting at the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome</A> post.<P>Stay aroung...<BR>Ask... read... post... (and vent when necessary).<P>You are not alone!<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A><p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited May 31, 2001).]

Bringing it up... <P>Jim