I just found out Friday that my husband cheated on me. He denied it at first but I found an email he sent to her. He said he was sorry, it only happened once, and that he feels worse than I probably do. He has already broken the trust. Should I believe him. We have a 4-year old son. He says he wants to stay married to me and work things out. Part of me wants to leave and part of me wants to stay. Please help me and tell me what to do. I have cried for 3 days straight and I keep getting angry, I yell at him, then it upsets my son. Please help!

First Off. I hope your son is doing okay. If your husband is willing to work things out, that is great. First I would suggest therapy for your marriage. It is good to have a third person who is trained in matters like this. The Counselor can help your marriage only if both of you want to be there.<P>If you decide to go to therapy together, you should go until the counselor says you do not need to go anymore. I know that it is going to be expensive, but what is more important, your marriage or your money??<P>We have been in and out of therapy for 5 years. Things never got better for us because we stopped going when things felt alright, wrong decision.<P>My wife and I have decided that consistant therapy in pairs and also separate therapy is the way to go. This is costing us over $800 a month, which insurance covers 50%.<P>I find that the therapy is good for communication.<P>I hope this helped you.<P>I know what you are going through right now. Men also cry when they are hurt. I usually cry during the middle of the night when no one is here to talk to...<P>K

I hope you two arent involving your son in this...keep him shielded from it. First of all, you need to know what you want. Do you want to trust him? Do you want to put it back together? Do you want to be a couple? If so, then you need to follow the rules set forth by Dr. Hartley in the *How to end an affair* article. You need to set up some fast and hard rules that both are commmitted to, and you need to seek counselling. I, personally, am pulling for you to make it, if he is sincere, because I am one going through the same thing!! I am the one that did the offense, and the pain it causes my partner is more than I can bear. I love her with all my heart and want more than anything to work it out. If he is sincere, and you can tell if he is, I believe you have a chance. Good Luck!!