My D-Day was May 1st. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions, as I am sure you can all relate. We started counseling two weeks after D-Day. (by the way I am formerly Feelingalone if you want to go back and read more history... lost my password and since registering, my email addy changed, so I had to reregister?!) <P>Counseling has been going good. <BR>Well yesterday did not go to well, actually. That is why I am posting here.<P>I told my counselour that I still have a lot of anger. She asked me what it would take for me to get past the anger of my H's A and move on to recovery?? I don't know?! I do feel that my anger is inhibiting us from moving forward, but I feel like I can not get over it. I suppose I use it as a defense mechanism ... I think about this A everyday and I just want to rip off the OW's head! I want to inflict on her, even a small portion of the pain she caused me. (I know it just wasn't HER who caused the pain, but I feel H is remorseful and wanting to fix the whole mess)<P>How in earth do I come to terms with this and begin to move forward in this recovery phase?? HELP!!!

Hiya things...<P>Just a quick note...go and look at the postings on WorkinonUs where I gave her a couple of ideas on how to manage the anger. I am not the end all, but I think that there are a couple of ideas contained in there that may help. YOU cant get over the anger alone!! Your H must be there for you, must listen to you, must be an active participant and realize what he has done to you. HE must allow the grieving period and be willing to help you unload, even if it is on him in the beginning. Don't take it out on OW, even though that is your first instinct, it won't help your recovery, and my actually retard your efforts. Work through it with the man you love. Best of luck and go to WorkingOnUs at her Getting over the anger posting. Good luck!!<P>True

Thanks Trueheart<P>I am on my way over there now ... thanks for letting me know about this thread.