It has been 38 days since my husband confessed to his affair. The affair lasted four months, I started to think that something was going on back in February but kept it to myself hoping I was wrong. We have been married for almost 23 years and have three kids. We had a very happy life together before this happened. We were best friends, partners and lovers. Why this happened I still don't understand. He says that it was nothing I did or didn't do, that he doesn't understand himself why he did it. It wasn't that he was not happy with our life together, he says he was. The night that I found everything out for sure he told me he had ended the affair two weeks before. That he had told the ow he did not want to see her anymore, he still loved me and wanted our marriage to work. I have never been so hurt or confused in my life. I love him with all my heart and want us to stay together but I don't know how I am ever going to trust him again. I can't eat or sleep, I have lost about 15 pounds since I found out, I cry all the time and have no desire to do anything. He has been very supportive and loving, he has answered all my question but I still can't stop thinking about my husband with this ow. Everyday when he leaves for work I worry that he will see her or talk to her. They don't work together so they have no reason to see each other. He told me that she has called him at work and paged him but that he has not spoken with her. He said he did not take her calls and has not returned her pages. I want to believe him but trust in him is something I don't have right now. She has called here a few times to try to speak with him also. He tells me that I am the women he wants to spend the rest of his life with but it is very hard to fix our marriage with the ow still trying to make contact. I know that my husband has a lot of quilt over what he has done to not only me but the ow, but I don't really care about her. I need to feel like I am the only women in his life that matters. I have done some reading since all this happened and I have found out that marriages can become stronger after an affair but it takes a lot of work by both partners. So far we are both will to work hard and I hope that we can be one of the lucky ones who get past the hurt and are together when our great grand children come to visit. Thanks for being there any suggestions would be welcome.

Marie --- I, too, am a BS whose H admitted to his A nearly three weeks ago. I was suspicious for a long time and he finally told me the truth. Like you, my H and I have been married for over twenty years and unlike you, my H had an EA and PA with the OW for five years. What a kick in the teeth, eh? Fortunately, my H wants to repair whatever damage that he's done to us and I'm willing to assist him. It's much easier when spouses agree to work together in putting the marriage back on track. It is a VERY good sign that your H is cooperating with the no contact clause of MB and is a willing partner in the effort of trying to get your relationship in order. I commend both of you.<P>Good luck in your endeavors and I hope to read some good things about the work that the two of you are doing to help your marriage <P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>