Female, early 30's. I have been married for, going on 6 years. A few weeks ago, I found out that my husband and a good friend of mine, (I thought she was my friend) have been having an affair. Her daughter and my daughter played t-ball together, on the same team as a matter of fact, my husband was the coach and so was her husband. Her husband got an out-of-town job, and stepped down from coaching, leaving my husband to do it all. To make a long story short, they started seeing each other, I guess, she would call him on his cell phone, he would leave the room when it was her, then one thing led to another, and I confronted her, him and her husband, because her husband suspected something as well. Of course my husband and herself denied it. Now, he is drinking everynight, staying out until 4:00am, and I mean every night. I only see him about 30 minutes a day. We have two children, one 6-yrs, and one 10-yrs. He has made the excuse that I lead him to drink everynight just because I accused him of cheating with this woman. And also had other lame excuses to make it seem my fault. They thought they were being so careful, but it showed. Now, he wants to separate, but yet, he wants to live under the same roof. He sleeps in my daughters room, while my daughter sleeps with me. My son is currently out of town for one months and does not see all this pain and suffering that is going on, but my 6-year old daughter sees it all. She sees him get dressed at night to go out clubbing and drinking. Yet he still denies any accusation with the other woman who was my friend. He says that if he was going to cheat on me it would not be with someone I knew, but I believe the opposite. Since I did know her, then there should have been no room for suspicion. But there was. THey just got discovered. So now we live under the same roof as strangers, because we do not want to lose our 2year old home and 8 months old new truck. What to do? I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard spot, because I have nowhere else to live, and if I stay home, I can't afford to have him leave, because of financial reasons. I think he knows that I need him financially, that is why he stays, and that is why I let him stay. Need help. I hate living this way, we DO NOT ever talk. It is really painful and emotionally and physically tiring. Need some input? Also this girl, will always be around for a while, for the reason that our daughter play summer ball together, separate teams, but travel to same places. She is always there? SHe always calls him? HELP<p>[This message has been edited by stranger under same roof (edited June 13, 2001).]

Please read the info pointed to in the post by NSR, welcoming new members. You need to know Plan A, ENs, LBs, etc., and work on saving your marriage by Plan Aing.<P>It isn't hard to figure out what he is up to, it is the same old thing that so many of us experience. It is a fantasy, and people in it can totally change into something we never thought possible.<P>You are experiencing what many of us are, and you'll need to dig deep to endure the crap that occurs, so you can work on saving your marriage.<P>He is in la la land right now, so reasoning with him won't work. I'd suggest buying SAA and HN/HN. See the NSR link for info on these books, available from this site.<P>If you post this in GQII forum, you'll get more response.<P>

I am new at this, yesterday was my first time actually posting on this site, I have been reading the articles, topics and so on, and was very very impressed and had wishful thinking that maybe it would all work out for the best. but my days just keep getting worse. Last night he didn't even come home, and I notice that some pants and shoes and stuff were gone. he called me this morning at work and told me that he had plans for tonight and couldn't pick up my daughter, and that it was none of my business. I asked him if he was moving out, he said no because I can't afford the house without him, which is true, but to live with this thing, feels like torture. How do I transfer my posting at this sight to the one you suggested? Is there a way to transfer? I tried typing new reply, but I never say it come on the screen, I guess I did something wrong?

New at this, not sure how to do that, transfer , retype, I guess I am in some sort of denial, because to me it is hard to figure out this same old thing. enlighten please, so I can understand, what I guess I'm not understanding, what is he trying to do? After last night, not coming him and today, he has plans and a few changing of clothes being gone, I am actually sick to my stomach, especially for my 6-year old daughter.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rick37:<BR><B>Please read the info pointed to in the post by NSR, welcoming new members. You need to know Plan A, ENs, LBs, etc., and work on saving your marriage by Plan Aing.<P>It isn't hard to figure out what he is up to, it is the same old thing that so many of us experience. It is a fantasy, and people in it can totally change into something we never thought possible.<P>You are experiencing what many of us are, and you'll need to dig deep to endure the crap that occurs, so you can work on saving your marriage.<P>He is in la la land right now, so reasoning with him won't work. I'd suggest buying SAA and HN/HN. See the NSR link for info on these books, available from this site.<P>If you post this in GQII forum, you'll get more response.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>