Last week I found out my husband had an affair with a woman he has worked with for 12 years. I was completely unraveled, I felt my whole world get turned in to a huge nightmare. He says he wants the marraige, admits to the affair and expects me to get over the fact he has had affair in less than a week. He is all over me physically, pushing me to make love with him. My desire to be intimate in that way was taken from me, how am I suppose to react? Will I ever be able to be intimate like that with him again? Is this normal?

Here is a link to the newcommer welcome page.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html

Of course you are normal. Normal is all over the place. Some people react as you have others have what looks like "honeymoon sex". I fell into the "honeymoon sex" category because I think I needed the physical reasurance. Whatever your reaction is it is normal. Your husband may wish that you can get over his misdeed that easily but that's not how the human brain and heart are wired. It usually takes about 2 years to recover from an affair. Not one week.

My suggestion to you is that you read the book "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Harley. Then ask your husband to read the book. You can get it on this website or at many book stores. The book will give you the road map to saving your marriage and healing from your husband's affair. I know it saved my marriage and my sanity.

You and your husband should get marital counseling as soon as possible. There is counseling available throught the MB staff. Though I've never used their services people on this site have a lot of good things to say about them.

Good Luck

<small>[ June 04, 2003, 09:54 PM: Message edited by: Eleonora ]</small>

Hi, did your husband have an affair for 12 years or he worked with that woman for 12 years? I know how you feel, being there myself. I hope that you can calm down and think about what you should do. If you want to stay with him, think about how to build up trust again.