All day I had Justaperson on my mind and the response I wrote to her and felt really immature because I lashed out at her. When I found out about my husbands affair 2 weeks ago my whole life, everything I thought to be real, everything I wanted for my children to be raised in a 2 parent home exploded in my face. The night I found out my husband threw me into a wall enraged calling me every name in the book, calling me a paranoid nurotic bit-- denying the affair to me accusing me of being at fault for the problems in the marraige and I make him do the things he does, thephysical abuse all of it. I went ballistic inside when Justaperson stated we chose the life we have, it was our fault for the affairs our significant other was having and that included the abuse I have experienced at my husbands hand, at least in my mind. My pain is still fresh, I took my anger out on her and didn't want to be compassionate to her, which is very unlike me. You gave me a dose of reality, it's time I began to refocus.

cloudseeker,

Oh do I understand where you are coming from. Many of us have lashed out at people who have posted in the way Just A Person did. I too have gotten a reality check from these. I think that these posts are teaching us all to grow a thicker skin.

One of the things this site is great for is that we can vent. The one thing I am learning is that when we vent here, we can expect people to keep us in line. This is good.

You are under terrible stress with your husband’s affair, his abuse of you, and your son being ill. I wish I could come up with some words that would console you and make it “all better”.

PS:

Just incase you have not keep up with the “Just A Person, Just A Person Too, and JustAPerson2” saga in General Questions II, I’ve included some links here. It seems that these may be all the same person: Cali’s OW coming here to harass her. Apparently that is not unusual on this site.

Just A Person’s original post in General Questions II
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/010179.html

There was this post
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/010250.html

And then there was this one
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/010250.html

Then there as this one from Cali.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/010273.html

<small>[ June 04, 2003, 09:47 PM: Message edited by: Eleonora ]</small>

cs:<P>Many here have done the same. This forum is a highly emotionally-charged one. In the reality of what many have suffered, it is understandable that posts like those are going to touch raw nerves.<P>I hope your H comes out of his fog! The emotional turmoil of discovering an affair is bad enough without adding the insult of physical abuse as well.<P>Thoughts and prayers for you and your family,<BR>Godspeed,<BR>STL<p>[This message has been edited by SeenTheLight (edited July 05, 2001).]