OK WAT here goes<BR>I found out about the A in late Feb. or Early March and after the usual shoch period told W that if she was willing we could work on it. We started to go to counselling and after the first session she decided she wanted to go see the counsellor by her self to resolve some personal issues that she felt would be easier for her if I wasn't there. I agreed. After that session my W said she was willing to go back to the sessions with me. At this point she decided that she wanted to save our M and that she was going to stop seeing the OM. That didn't last very long. I later found out from friends of mine who knew this guy that he is "the best talker they know. He can talk himself in and out of anything." "best BSer". He has been M, cheated on his W, got his girlfriend Pregnant, D his W, M his girlfriend and then cheated on her with my W. He has told my W, "those other women meant nonething to me , I've been searching for the perfect women to spend the rest of my life with, they weren't the ones but you are." (great line but I guess she bought it hook, line and sinker) After asking the usual questions to my wife about what does he have that I don't she said "it's the way he talks, he's in my head and I can't get him out.Physically you are by far more attractive but he talks so intellectually." He emailed her 6 or 7 times a day and then he bought her a cell phone so they could talk without me knowing. She told me that our M was great and that she still loved me but not as a mate but rather a friend. If people asked her about me she said she told them I was a great guy. So my question was, so what was the problem, I asked her if it would be a bad thing to spend the rest of her life with me and she said no. Her answer, "he's in my head and I like that." We have two young children 8/5 and in the last 6 weeks she has seen them a total of about 1 week, we just started our joint custody. She said her love for me has gone, this started to happen, guess when, around the time she started the A.<BR>In the last 6 weeks she has bought a new car, a house and then yesterday she told me she plans on M OM. I reminded her neither she or him are D. She spends most of her time with him or his family/friends, she has completely withdrawn herself from everybody else. it's like the OM is a master manipulator and is controlling her (my opinion, my lawyer calls him a textbook predator who knows when to get in and then out, but I don't know). Oh yes, she has very low self esteem and is extemely attractive.<BR>Her last comment to me prior to the M threat/announcement is that she is happy with her decision otherwise she won't have taken things this far and that she has committed to OM for life.<BR>She still wants to talk to me, almost everyday when the children call me she wants to talk, usually the conversation starts about the children then she talks about other things or she'll tell me about things she told me about the day before.<BR>There is more but I think that gives you the condensed version. If you need more ask away<P>Deeplyinlove
