On Friday, July 13th I found out that my H had some suspicous activity that leads me to believe that he has had another A.<P>We have been together for 10 years, no children (thank goodness they are not going to be screwed up by this). My H had an A that lasted 3 years of the 10 that we have been together. We moved to another state and everything seemed to be great as far as I was concerned. Just last Tuesday I was out of town for the day. I did not spend the night out. When I got home late that night my H was at work. I thought it was strainge that he had bagged the trash. (He does nothing around the house) I blew it off. On Thursday evening my H was in the shower and I was cleaning the master bathroom and found a lipstick on the floor. I set it on the counter not knowing if it was mine or not. Later on I went back in the bathroom an notice that the lipstick had been moved. After my H left for work I immediatly went back in the bathroom and the lipstick had been moved behide some of my makeup. I got extremely upset and thought this is not mine. Upon further investigation I noticed that whomever used this lipstick uses a brush and I do not. I went to be and my H comes home immediatly to be honest about the lipstick because he had changed from his old ways and could not bear for me to think something was going on. Naturaly his story sounded like a fabrication. A male friend came by with a girlfriend and she left it. He said that he went to work and talked to the girl and she said it was hers. I let everything go. On Friday, I came home from work and did not mention the night before. A collegue of my H's called and they had a very brief conversation. After I asked a few questions about his collegue calling after hours at our home my H said it was because his collegue thought that my H and his wife were up to something. We had a large discussion. I called his collegue back an asked if there was something going on that I needed to know and he said that my H was comming in early and hanging around his W's workstation to much. All three of them work on different shifts. My H's collegue also said that on Friday his W called my H and he had recorded their conversation. He told me that they spoke for a moment then his W asked my H how I was doing. My H's response was "everything is O.K. I think I have everything smoothed over". Of course my H denies everything and swears the two incidents have nothing to do with each other.<P>I do not think my H is in love with this woman. He wants to stay with me. I believe He would like it if I stayed and he could do whatever he wants whenever he wants and I should ignore what is going on. <P>My friend says to get out now. I have read everything on this web site and I believe we can work things out. My concern is will he do it again? Should I leave now?<P>On Friday, July 13th my happiness vanished.

Dear Jewel, I am new as well. I read your post and I don't believe you should leave. This is all so new and to just up and leave without giving your H the opportunity to change and or repent, confess would not be a good idea. Obviously, something went on between these two,but you don't know all the details yet. Definitely keep posting here and read, reads and read some more! My D-day was June 17th,but the A was on April 13th. I can't say whether or not to ask more questions because sometimes it just pulls them away farther so just take it real slow, if you can. I know i wanted to know all the now. Which was good but then it was real hard to take. I didn't realize all what had happened. Anyhow, my prayers are with you. Paytonrose

Thanks for the support.<P>I am still struggling with me having to do all of the damage control when I did not cause this damage. I have been asking him if there is anything that he is not getting from me and he said that it was the shift that he was working and he did not get to spend enough recreational time with me. He has a history of wanting to run from his problems. He is using this as an excuse to change jobs. I am fine with that but, he meets these girls wherever he works. That is fine and all but, it was him that stayed up late when he got home and could not get up early enough to spend a few hours with me. That has changed and I am making an the extra effort to spend quality time with him.<P>I still have a problem with him not admitting the A/one night stand/whatever. This is the second time he has done this. Who is to say that he wont do it again? It is very hard to fix a problem that your H does not think exists.<P>I think he is admitting to the first A now to make me feel better and to drop what is going on now.<P>My H's profile seems different in the since that he loves me, wants to be with me, but, he cannot help going to far with other people. I am sure he gets some sort of rush from it.<P>I am so confused. I feel like this is something I cannot stand for but I am having a hard time leaving. <P>Thanks again for the support.<P>