My husband found out I was posting here and he read my posts. I'm feeling a little strange about that. I guess I feel like he read my journal or something. And he didn't know about the bulimic episodes so he was upset that I hadn't told him...other than that he said he wasn't mad. That he understood that coming here was helping me. And I am glad in a way that he read the posts because some of the stuff in there I was having a hard time trying to tell him. I am lucky he is so understanding. I just hope this all works out in the end and I hope the OW is gone for good. I don't think I could ever handle seeing her. I thought I was ready to move onto the Recovery board but he's back in the field this week so all of the anxiety is back all of the negative stuff. I just don't want it to be like this forever. It is so hard. It is harder to stay and work it out than it would be to leave. I think that a lot of people think it is the other way around...but it would be so much easier to just give up and leave. I don't want to leave. I want to stay and make this better. At least my H and I are a lot more honest and open with each other. I love him so much...but I get so mad I can't believe it. UGH!