I don't know how to start this. I guess from where I found out. Two months ago, I found out that my husband was having an affair with a friend of mine. I had never been too much into computers until this IM thing pops up and it is her thinking that he was on the computer. I didn't even know it was on our computer until then. Anyway, the conversation that followed was very enlightening. Especially after she started getting suspicious and I revealed to her who I was. Anyway, my husband and I have been going to a marriage counselor. It was the counselor who said I should give this place a try. Anyway, I find out through our counselor, at my husbands request, that he is sexually addicted. He travels alot in his job, Eviornmental Impact Specialist, and his travels have taken him the world over. He has had so many affairs over the years he can't even count them. In turn, I have had sex with hundreds of women from all over the world!!!!! Makes me feel special. Especially the ones with my "friends". I always wanted to know that we were close and shared something special, but not my damned HUSBAND!! It's a miracle that we have both tested negative for HIV, so far. Anyway, to make a painfully long story short, this is what I want your guys opinions about. I found out last week from our counselor, my husband wouldn't even come to this appointment, that my husband is sexually addicted. When I am on my period, he will masterbate three or four times a day. During the course of our marriage, we have probably averaged having sex two times a day. At least. I am am so sick and tired of having sex all the time!! But I am afraid not too now that I know what he is capable of. We can have sex at 10 pm and he will wake up at 2am or so and want it again! I am to the point where I just sleep through it. When he's done, I clean real quick and go back to sleep. He has changed a lot in the last two months. But that remains the same. His selfishness when it comes to sex, his pouting if I don't give it to him, is driving me insane. He says he will never cheat again. And I really WANT to think he is telling me the truth. But how can I trust in that when he is still very much sexually insecure and requiring it so much from me? I feel as though my life is constantly in danger! My husband agrees that he is sexually addicted. It turns out he was severely sexually abused by a male family friend for two years when he was 11 years old. No one ever found out and that man is now deceased so my husband can't get any "closure" on this. I feel for my husband. I love him and hate him. And I don't want to sound callous, but why the hell do I have to suffer from HIS past? Why do I have to live MY life worried about where HIS thingy has been? He is upset with me now because I WILL NOT perform oral sex. Period. Do you know how DISGUSTING it is for me to even THINK about that? My FRIENDS! He was INSIDE my FRIENDS!!!! When he asks that of me, that is ALL I see!I CRY all the time during sex now!And that is how I see it whith him! Dirty, disgusting, HORRIBLE sex! No love making going on here! The [censored]! How dare he put me in this situation? I used to enjoy sex with him. Though the amount was tiresome at times, he is powerfully built and very nice to look at. Now though, sheeesh. Sorry, I am getting all worked up. And the Plan A. How can I even begin to be nice and considerate to him? Sorry for all the conflicting emotions here. I am so confused!!
